If I Didn’t Think, I’d Be Much Happier
by Dee Harris
I never “thought” thinking would get me in such trouble. What is thinking? The process of using one’s mind to consider or reason about something. Okay, then. What is rationalization? The action of attempting to explain or justify behavior or an attitude with logical reasons, even if these are not appropriate. So that’s where my thinking got me in trouble…by rationalizing.
I prided myself for being an intellectual human being. I studied hard. I excelled in school. I believed that if I wanted something badly enough and really put my mind to it, I could get it. I knew nothing of religion or spirituality. I only knew of science and intellect.
Leading up to the time of coming to terms with brain vs. heart I noticed that my intellectual endeavors were diminishing. My drive and passion were diminishing. And I had no purpose. Sad, huh?
In retrospect I can now see where this journey was taking me and the cause of my “just getting by”. It was addiction. Mainly an addiction to alcohol. All starting out most innocently with peers in junior and then senior high school. I wasn’t enslaved yet and don’t even know when it happened.
Throughout college I drank on occasion with friends. Then sometime thereafter drinking started to become more regular for me…and in the end, decades later, regular drinking meant daily drinking. Life was now in the way of my drinking.
So this once intellectual and driven human being couldn’t muster enough know-how to go a day without drinking. And, boy, did I rationalize my destructive behavior as this disease slowly dragged me to and through hell.
So what happened? I finally came to my senses, got lucky, got unlucky, however you want to look at it, but I got the help I needed to stop drinking. And today I believe my Higher Power made an intervention. My destructive journey that I needed to endure would now transition to “trudging the road of happy destiny”, as it is said in AA.
In a 28-day treatment program for alcoholism I started to learn living from my heart, rather than my head. This was totally foreign to me but what did I have to lose? I had intellectually screwed my life up by thinking and rationalizing, so “fake it ’til you make it”.
Living from my heart was made possible by a Power Greater Than Myself, of my own understand, that I got to make up. Yep, from my own little brain. Over to this Higher Power I turned my will and my life. My Higher Power spoke through my gut. You know those feelings. Intuition.
So now my brain, my ego and I are no longer running the show. The HP has got everything under control and I shall just do the footwork from the messages I get in my gut. Dang. It works!
Not only does it work, it’s so freeing!!! The heavy load I had been carrying on my shoulders for decades was no longer there. The fact that this all seemed miraculous and inexplicable helped me to gain trust in this Power Greater Than Myself.
It’s now been awhile since I’ve transitioned from brain to heart and this way of living still serves me today. I’m in such a better place of surrender and acceptance and everyday keeps getting better and better. So thankful. So humble…
…and so glad to be able to share my journey with you. I look forward to being part of your journey and hearing about your story!
With much aloha, Dee Harris
This blog is also on YouTube as a vlog at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUOL6gJpbrY. And for those of you who are interested in what I do when I’m not blogging and vlogging, please check out my Art with a Message of “No Stinkin’ Thinkin’” at www.DeesignsByHarris.com. Mahalo and enjoy!