Quiz: Are You an Empath? 

Quiz: Are You an Empath? 

By Judith Orloff, MD

Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions.  If you are an empath, you feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings.  Intuition is the filter through which you experience the world.  Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners.  If you want heart, empaths have got it.  Through thick and thin, you are there for others—a world-class nurturer. 

Challenges of Being an Empath 

The trademark of empaths is that you know where others are coming from.  You may be able to do this without taking on people’s feelings.  However, for better or worse, you may also become an angst-sucking sponge.  This often overrides your sublime capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful.  If you are around peace and love, your body assimilates these and flourishes.  Negativity, though, often feels assaultive and exhausting.  

Thus, you’re a particularly easy mark for emotional vampires, whose fear or rage can ravage you.  As a subconscious defense, you may gain weight as a buffer.  When thin, you’re more vulnerable to negativity (a missing cause of overeating).  Plus, your sensitivity can be overwhelming in romantic relationships; you may stay single if you haven’t learned to negotiate your special cohabitation needs with a partner.  

When empaths absorb the impact of stressful emotions, it can trigger: 

Panic attacks
Food, sex, and drug binges 

A plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agoraphobia 

Empathy doesn’t have to make you feel too much all the time.  If you can center yourself and refrain from shouldering civilization’s discontents, empathy continues to make you freer, igniting your compassion, vitality, and sense of the miraculous. 

Quiz: Are You an Empath? 

To determine whether you’re an emotional empath, take the following quiz.  Ask yourself the following questions: 

Have I been labeled as too emotional or overly sensitive?
If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
Are my feelings easily hurt?
Am I emotionally drained by crowds?  

Do I require time alone to revive?  

Do my nerves get jarred by noise, smells, or excessive talk? 

Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please? 

Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships? 

If you answer “yes” to one to three of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding “yes” to more than three questions indicates that you’ve found your emotional type. 

Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them.  Staying on top of empathy will improve your self-care and relationships. 

How an Empath Can Find Balance 

Practice the following strategies to center yourself. 

Allow quiet time to emotionally decompress.
Get in the habit of taking calming mini-breaks throughout the day.  Breathe in some fresh air.  Stretch.  Take a short walk around the office.  These interludes will reduce the excessive stimulation of going nonstop. 

Practice guerilla meditation.
To counter emotional overload, act fast and meditate for a few minutes.  This centers your energy so you don’t take it on from others. 

Define and honor your empathic needs.  Safeguard your sensitivities.  Here’s how. 

If someone asks too much of you,  politely tell them “no.”  It’s not necessary to explain why.  As the saying goes, “No is a complete sentence.”
If your comfort level is three hours max for socializing—even if you adore the people—take your own car or have an alternate transportation plan so you’re not stranded.
 not dead center.
If you feel nuked by perfume, nicely request that your friends refrain from wearing it around you.  If you can’t avoid it, stand near a window or take frequent breaks to catch a breath of fresh air outdoors. 

If you overeat to numb negative emotions, practice the guerilla meditation mentioned above—before you’re lured to the refrigerator, a potential vortex of temptation.  As an emergency measure, keep a cushion by the fridge so you can be poised to meditate instead of binge.
Carve out private space at home.  Then you won’t be stricken by the feeling of too much togetherness. 

Over time, add to this list to keep yourself covered.  You don’t have to reinvent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload.  With pragmatic strategies to cope, you can have quicker retorts, feel safer, and your talents can blossom. 


When I first read this article I thought I may be an empath.  I was a giver, not a taker.  I put myself last catering to your needs first.  But I realized after working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with my sponsor that I was fear-driven.  I didn’t feel good about myself enough to put me first.  I tried to impress you because I had no self-worth.  

Having worked the Steps I now realize that I no longer have to live that way.  Number one, I no longer have to drink everyday so I have more clarity.  Number two, I have been able to understand now what makes me tick and I no longer have to react when I get that “oh-oh” feeling in my gut.  I can step back for a moment, take a look at my part, remedy that, and move forward in a positive manner.  Thirdly, today I have a Power Greater Than Myself who has my back and guides me through life on life’s terms.

Before getting sober I intellectualized and rationalized everything.  I lived from my head and not my heart.  In AA I have learned to change everything so I now go with my heart, with my gut feelings, my intuition.  And I have found that this is the easier, softer, less exhausting way to live.

I have also learned to look at things, at life, in a positive and optimistic way.  The glass is half-full.  When I live this way I attract more of the same and I flourish.  When negativity enters my life, my mind, my gut, it feels uncomfortable.  I remember that I am not in control of people, places or things.  I get back in the moment, grateful and humble.  I remember that my Higher Power has my back.  I embrace the negativity and thank it for visiting, let it know that it does not serve me, and then I let it go.

I remember how exhausted I was living in negativity (lying, hiding, sneaking) when I was active in my alcoholism.  Drinking everyday, passing out, coming to, blacking out, eating poorly, never getting good sleep, I was a zombie.

I am so grateful that I am no longer that person, but I must always remember that the disease is still in me, waiting for the pinhole of weakness in me to surface.  That awareness and cautiousness keeps me close to the fellowship of AA.

Alcohol is just a symptom of my disease.  My brain is what was really sick.  My thinking.  My pre-frontal cortex of my brain kept me obsessive and compulsive.  With that awareness I can today change my stinking thinking to live a life guided by my heart. 

My feelings are no longer easily hurt as I finally feel good in my skin about who and what I am.  I know that I am doing my best.  I know that not everyone will like me, nor me them.  It’s all good.

I no longer am emotionally drained by crowds, but I prefer solitude.  I enjoy the company of like-minded folks, but keep myself separate from those who are not.  Today I have boundaries.  I come first.  My sobriety comes first.

More often than not I live a quiet care-free life.  But when life happens and events occur, they no longer have to become chaos and drama.  They are just life.  I look at my part.  Am I in HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)?  Have I forgotten to live in the present moment (worrying about the future or fretting about the past)?  Have I forgotten that a Power Greater Than Myself is control?  Have I gone back to thinking instead of feeling?  Have I forgotten that everything is perfect at this very moment?

If so, I take the time necessary to re-focus, re-balance, re-center.  Quiet, meditative time.  I get outside.  I remember to breathe, to stretch, to move.  My mind settles.  I get rid of negativity by making it a positive.  I get patient and put things in the God Box.  I take care of myself.  I get thankful.  I get humble.

Thank you for reading!  

With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in positive, inspiring art with a message, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

Adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s book The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People (https://drjudithorloff.com/empath-survival-guide-description/).

Discover how to navigate the world as your authentic self with ease, strength, and grace at our Chopra Women’s Retreat. Learn More. (https://chopra.com/live-events/womens-retreat/).

About the Author 

Judith Orloff, MD is the NY Times best-selling author of The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People.  Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality.  Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating empaths and highly sensitive people in her private practice.  Dr. Orloff… Read more (/bios/judith-orloff-md) 

(From https://chopra.com/live-events/womens-retreat/may-2018) 


 When You Feel Like Crap, And What To Do About It 

 When You Feel Like Crap, And What To Do About It 

by Josiah Samuel Harry 

The Mindfullness Show is back for another season. In this season (Season 2), we will be discussing the hottest topics relating to pop culture and news around the world.

You are vertical and ventilating, but you still feel like crap.  Every success initiative you employ seems to flop.  Your dreams and goals appear to be out of reach, and you’re no longer enjoying life as you once did.  Even the universe itself seems to be conspiring against you.  So how do you get yourself out of the shitty mood and get back on the path to success? 

Start your day with positive affirmation.  Make it a habit to avoid thoughts or conversations that undermine your dreams.  Do not give power and energy to negativity or anything that will deplete your mental strength.  Instead, you ought to retrain your focus on motivating energy.  Do your best to use positive words when talking.  Start your day with statements like: “I am so happy and grateful to see another beautiful day” or “I love myself for who I am” or “I will put forth my best effort and accept responsibility for my success and happiness.” 


I use positive affirmations regularly.  I am a firm believer they work, to at least get me back in the moment in front of me.

When I was in an alcohol treatment program our group started our day reciting an affirmation we chose for ourselves.  I chose “I am a good person.  I am a whole person”.  Well, for starts, I’m in rehab so I’m not feeling real good about myself.  As a matter of fact, I feel like shit, a loser, a waste of space on the planet.  I cannot go a day without drinking.

The treatment program taught me I have the disease of alcoholism.  Then one day at a time, doing what was suggested to me there and in the rooms of AA, I began to get better.  I continued repeating that affirmation daily.  It took a long time but eventually I did feel like a good person and a whole person.  Today I not only feel it, I know I AM it!

I am also finding that it takes a lot of energy to be in a shitty mood.  It’s so much easier and lighter to be positive and optimistic.  So there’s another choice I have made to better myself and my life.  The energy I have today will be used in a helpful, hopeful, and useful way.

So if I feel shitty or have shitty thoughts I say, “Thank you for coming.  I embrace you.  You do not serve me, so please go.”  And then I allow those feeling and thoughts to be whisked away into the clouds.

Shift your paradigm.  A paradigm is a host of thoughts, ideas, and experiences that frame one’s reality.  In order to see success through its fulfillment, it necessitates adopting new beliefs that bridge your ridiculously-impossible dream with effort, skill, passion.  If your goals are small, then your effort will follow suit, and your success outcomes will likely be small.  This isn’t to say that bigger is always better, but sometimes it is. 


I hope to never give up being a kid with a wild imagination and dreams and hopes.  If I give that up why bother going on?  There is nothing to look forward to or to be excited about.

I allow the dreams and hopes to surface from my heart and not my head.  My head seems to stifle my aspirations with rationalizations and fear.  My heart fills me with joy and potential.  Therefore, I choose to live today with a new m.o…from my heart and not my head…from that angel on my shoulder and not the devil on the other shoulder.   

And I have found that living this way, and by turning my will and my life over to the care of a Power Greater Than Myself (as suggested in the rooms of AA), I DO get to experience the Promises (pages 83-84, Chapter 6 “Into Action”, in Alcoholics Anonymous, written by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob)…in a way far greater than I could ever have imagined!

Match your actions with your ambitions.  If your goal is to establish a functional stable Mars colony, then you will need a spacecraft large and powerful enough to get you to Mars.  In order to experience high-level success, you must prioritize and devote a ton of time to the tasks that will get you closer to your goals.  Don’t let the mantra: “Everybody wants to be a winner until it’s time to do what winners do” define your reality. 


Actions speak louder than words.  Walk my talk.  But I don’t want to.  I don’t have time.  It’s not fun.  

I used these excuses in my business I started five years ago.  Putting together an online business requires knowledge and computer skills.  Didn’t light a spark in me 5 years ago.  It was suggested to me to do certain things that, again, didn’t float my boat.  So 5 years later with just a so-so business I have chosen to better myself and my business.

I have enrolled in on-line courses, narrowing down to one particular instructor who fits me and my needs.  Hours, months, years of research.  I am finally doing what is suggested and the spark is starting to ignite.  You see, “When the student is ready, the master appears.”  Now is my time, not 5 years ago.

So the last few months I have poured myself into redesigning my website, focusing on my brand and target market, concentrating on policies and procedures.  And today I am exited to do this.  When the time is right…when I am right…it will happen!

Pivot.  To pivot is to change direction and make necessary adjustments to get you on a path that will lead to considerable growth and success.  When you conclude that you are no longer on the correct path based on experience and evidence, then it is time to redirect your time, money, and effort to another success initiative.  Sometimes you have the right idea, but there isn’t a market for that idea, yet.  So fish where the fish are, and remember to use the right bait. 


So changing my direction and remembering who and what I am…an alcoholic in recovery with a purpose to share my experience, strength and hope…I have concentrated my efforts on a business to do just that…offer compassion, mindfulness and optimism to those who are seeking that.

I remember how important affirmations are to my life so I share them with my target market in a fun and beautiful way.  I have created art with a message to offer enjoyment and a reminder to stay in the moment and embrace who and what you are, right here, right now.  It’s finally making sense to me.  The fire is finally lit and the kid in me is excited to go to work every morning like being in a candy store.

Persist.  To persist means to rise to the occasion when your best performance is needed most—and that’s every day.  Remaining focused on accomplishing your goals in the face of opposition, setbacks, and unforeseen challenges is hard work.  Achieving your greatest potential takes time—meaning years, even decades.  Nonetheless, if you desire to experience unparalleled success, then you must be willing to stretch beyond the limits of your creative endurance. 

The common denominator among the five points above is perspective.  That is, setting high and realistic expectations for yourself and celebrating the path you are on while learning and growing. 


So this journey of improving my business is interconnected with my journey of improving myself and my life in recovery.  Yes, we do all have to earn a living and I have chosen a path that allows my passion to thrive.

And it takes heaps of time, endurance, patience…improving my life and my business.  It is exciting to know that I am right where I need to be and that my Higher Power has my back and is guiding me in the direction that is best for me, one that serves me by serving HIm.

Yes, I’ve got to keep everything in perspective.  Remember to stay in the moment which means to stay grateful, and humble, and to Turn It Over.  It’s all interconnected.  We are all interconnected.  No coincidences.

Mahalo for being here.  With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in checking out my Art with a Message of hope and optimism using motivational quotes and affirmations, please check out my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Enjoy!

Josiah Samuel Harry | May 8, 2018 at 5:17 pm | Tags: #america, #beauty, #blog, #blogging, #inspiration, #life, #lifestyle, #love, #men, #motherhood, #motivation, #parenting, #success, #women, #writing, awakening, Blogger, josiah harry, josiah samuel harry, natural, nature, New Post, News, Personal Development, Self Empowerment, self-improvement, the mindfullness show, When You Feel Like Shit, 

Since you’re here… 

…I wrote a book about love with the aim of sparking a national conversation about tolerance, diversity, and inclusion. The goal is to get Choose Love Not Hate into every home and school, and make our communities places of intercultural learning and hubs of compassion. It would mean the world to me if you ordered a copy of Choose Love Not Hate today. Thank you. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2018, 12:18:46 PM HST 


How to Forgive Others When You Feel Hurt

How to Forgive Others When You Feel Hurt

By Heidi Paavilainen

I remember a time when I was young I got upset with two of my friends and stopped talking to them for two years. I can’t even remember why I got upset, but at that time it made sense to me to hold on to my hard feelings. At that young age, I thought that my behavior was reasonable and I didn’t understand that the only person I was hurting by holding onto my feelings was myself.


I reacted the same way when I was younger because I, too, did that “thinking” thing.  From a young age I was taught to “think” and if I thought about it hard enough and wanted it badly enough, it would happen.

Off on a tangent for a moment.  No matter how hard I wanted to stop drinking each and every day, I couldn’t will power up enough thoughts to make that happen.

Back to thinking.  I learned, once I was gifted with sobriety and a life in recovery, that thinking wasn’t my friend.  It only rationalized me into many a dark hole and a life of feeling like a loser, a waste of space on the planet.

Once I left the alcohol treatment program I did what was suggested, go to AA.  And there I did what was suggested.  Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, and get into service.  But the hugest transition for me came when I got to make up my own Higher Power, a Power Greater Than Myself, over to which I could turn my will and my life.  That’s when the thinking went away and living from my heart became my “go to”.

Over the years I came to understand more that I didn’t need to take the behavior of another person so personally. That’s when forgiving suddenly became easier. What looked like a personal attack before now looked like a behavior of a person who was suffering, and therefore unable to act from a place of kindness (http://www.chopra.com/articles/4-magical-side-effects-of-kindness).


I live by Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements.  “Don’t take anything personally” has taken the power our of unkind words and actions directed at me.  And I, too, can now put myself in that person’s shoes, knowing that I am unaware of the journey they are on, but able to be more compassionate and less judgmental when people behave like assholes.

Taking on this perspective opened me up for a new understanding of seeing my experience of other people more objectively. Not only did I learn to forgive more easily, but it also became easier for me to show up from a place of compassion.

Here are a few tips to help you see your situation from a wider perspective when you find it difficult to forgive another person.

1. Know That It’s Never Personal

Understanding where the other person is coming from and how their behavior has nothing to do with you makes forgiving them a natural response.

When someone says or does something that hurts you, they are not reacting directly to you—they are reacting to their own thinking. They are not reacting to the reality as it is, but rather to their own perception of the situation.

When you are able to see this at a deeper level, you can become less reactive. If the other person does something that hurts you, instead of taking it personally, try to become curious. What makes them act like that in the first place?


And when I feel a true connection to that person I can be mindful and respectful and really listen to his words and actions.  I can offer hope and optimism and share that everything is perfect at this very moment.  It’s all just part of the journey through life to bring us to greatness…or, at least peace, knowing we made it through to the other side wiser and stronger.  Yes, this too shall pass.

However, if I don’t feel that true connection, if that person has walls up and is not open to compassion, then I walk away.  He is on his own journey.  We have boundaries too and must respect them and ourselves.

2. Know That You Are Always Doing Your Best

You, like everyone else, are always doing your best you can with the tools and knowledge you have in the moment.

What looks reasonable to you when you feel the anger burning inside often looks like a mistake afterward. If you had known this in the middle of the storm of your emotions, you would not have acted from that place. But you didn’t know.

This is why you may sometimes do things that you regret later. The more you understand this, the more innocence you can see in every act of unkindness—yours and others’.


AA has given me a toolbox for living (by the way, I do not represent Alcoholics Anonymous, the organization.  My words are just that…my words, my opinions).  When I get that uncomfortable knot in my gut I know that this situation isn’t serving my highest good.  I embrace the feelings, thoughts and emotions, then ask that they be taken away.  I let them go into the clouds.  I also ask myself why I allowed them to make me so uncomfortable in the first place.  I find that I am either usually in a place of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) or I have become disconnected from the present moment; therefore, disconnected to my Higher Power.  When I get back centered, knowing I am not in control of people, places, or things, I can go about my business freely.

3. Remember That Anger Clouds Thinking

When you feel stressed, upset, or angry, you lose your ability to see the moment clearly and objectively. Your perspective narrows, your negative emotions blind you momentarily, and you see everything in a more negative light than usual.

Your feelings of hurt are overshadowing your experience. When you see this and take a moment to allow your mind to calm down, your understanding of the situation becomes deeper.

In the heat of the moment, you might do or say things that you regret later (http://www.chopra.com/articles/how-to-transform-past-challenges-into-learning-experiences). You might be in the middle of an argument and say something that really hurts the other person. Deep down you know that you don’t really mean what you are saying, but your heated emotions override your ability to think clearly.


I hate myself when lower myself to someone else’s level.  I know I’m better than that and that I shouldn’t do it.  It doesn’t serve me, right?  But it feels so damned good.  And sometimes I’ll make an amends to that person, even when I feel they don’t deserve it.  But I deserve it.  To move on with a clean plate.  And I learn from it.

Why am I using my precious energy on such negative shit?  Why am I giving away my power to such a useless cause?  Because I’m human.  I grow.  I get back in the moment.  I’m grateful.  I’m connected again.  I move on.

Every act that comes from a place of unkindness is coming from a mind that is struggling.

Whenever you do things that hurt other people, you are suffering inside. Understanding this allows you to forgive others more effortlessly and gives you an opportunity to see your situation from a wider perspective. Not only will you realize that you don’t need to hold onto your negative emotions, but you can also recognize the humanity in every single person.

Everything resolves, one way or another, with the understanding that comes when your mind is calm.

What all this means is that you can forgive and choose to continue your life without the weight of your past, regardless of whether you still want to have the other person in your life, or not.

”Forgiveness is the discovery that what you thought happened, didn’t.” ~ Byron Katie


I learned awhile back that if a situation really bothers me I should look at it (better yet, write about it) from three different perspectives.  One, from my perspective.  Two, from the other person’s perspective.  And, three, from an outsiders perspective.  It’s really enlightening.  Try it!

Thank you being here.  With warmest aloha,


If you are interested in Art with a Message of Hope and Encouragement, feeling good about you and your life, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Enjoy and mahalo!

About the Author

Heidi Paavilainen (/bios/heidi-paavilainen) Transformative Coach, Yoga Teacher, Writer

Heidi helps people connect more with their inner wisdom so that they can find their own answers to the questions they are facing in life, enjoy a greater sense of well-being, and have relationships that feel good. Learn more about Heidi (http://www.heidipaavilainen.com/), and find out how she can help you make positive changes in your life. Read more (/bios/heidi-paavilainen)

From The Chopra Center 6/20/17



by Dee Harris

   I was just blessed with a 5-Year Chip.  “What is that?”, you ask.  Chips in Alcoholics Anonymous represent milestones of time achieved in sobriety.  There are 24-Hour Chips, also called Desire Chips.  There are monthly chips.  There are yearly chips.  These all represent surrender and acceptance and the time we have being clean and sober.

   “Surrender to what?”  For me there are many words I’ve learned since birth that hold negative connotations.  Surrender was one of them.  I’ve had to unlearn much of what I adopted from society.  

   Today surrender for me means I accept that I am an alcoholic.  I’ve learned that alcoholism is a disease that I did not choose, nor can I will-power away.  Kind of like being a woman or of Chinese descent.  It is what it is.  Period.  Therefore, surrender is no longer a word in my dictionary holding thoughts of loss.  In this case for me, it actually denotes thoughts of victory…accepting the cards I’ve been dealt and being okay with them, but more so, even thriving from them.

   “So what’s the big deal with these chips?”  Even though one of the slogans I learned in AA is “There are no big deals”, receiving these chips IS A BIG DEAL to me.  You see, I’m an alcoholic.  That means I have a physical allergy to alcohol and a mental obsession to it as well.  

   Believe you me that I have tried every imaginable remedy to NOT drink everyday, morning, noon and night.  Why was it that drinking was all I could think about?  Aaahhh…done with work.  Now I can drink.  Aaahhh…work week is over.  Now I can drink.  Aaahhh…holiday.  Now I can drink.  Well that snowballed into everyday that ends in “Y”.  Now I can drink.  It snowballed from “now I can drink” to “I have to drink.”  Drinking took over my entire life, my mind, body and soul.  Shitty, yeah?

   So for an alcoholic who has reached rock bottom, who cannot live a normal life without drinking, any length of time in sobriety IS A BIG DEAL.  But I am here to share another big deal that I’ve learned along my journey through life.  Once I built that solid foundation of a life in recovery, there are no guarantees that I get to keep it.

   Why would I want to keep it?  Because I don’t HAVE TO DRINK today and everyday.  I don’t have to live my entire life in negativity and despair.  I don’t have to hate and loathe myself.  I don’t have to feel I’m a waste of space on the planet.

   Today I get to have a purpose to share my experience, strength and hope with the world.  That includes sharing my journey with other alcoholics who are struggling with or trying to get to sobriety.  But that also includes sharing my journey and optimism with everyone who enters my bubble who has demons with which they are dealing.  We all have them.

   Alcoholics Anonymous, the fellowship, the Big Book, the Twelve Steps, have gifted me with a life beyond my wildest dreams!  Please note, that I do not represent the organization of Alcoholics Anonymous in any way, shape or form.  Everything shared here is my opinion.  My growth from using these tools have awarded me self-love, self-worth, and self-respect.  I had none of that before getting sober.  

   Why?  Because I lived in fear.  The experiences I received from society ingrained in me that more is better…more power, more money, more beauty, more material things, more of all that stuff that would never make me happy inside my being.

   So I lived a life trying to impress you.  I lived a life of a lie because I didn’t love myself.  Today my story is to stress to you that you do not have to live this way.  Be true to yourself.  Love yourself.  Accept yourself for the gift that you are.  Gifts that only you have!  And share those gifts.

   Ok.  Back to having no guarantees of keeping this most awesome life in sobriety.  You see, my life got good.  I stayed sober.  I actively participated in my recovery with the AA fellowship and did all that was suggested.  One day at a time.  But more and more good stuff kept being served up on my plate.  I couldn’t keep up.  And one day at a time I sacrificed my AA ties for the gifts of sobriety.  I went to fewer meetings.  I stopped giving back what was so freely given me when I needed it most.  I separated myself from the newcomer so I forgot what it was like struggling to get sober.

   I “thought” I was staying connected to my Higher Power, a Power Greater Than Myself, to which I vowed to turn over my will and my life.  But without staying active with the AA fellowship, my thoughts once again took over.  Dee’s will once again took over.  I was fooling myself and had no genuinely interested party to call me on my shit.

   When offered that shot of tequila the words vomited from my mouth, “No, thank you.  I haven’t had a drink in 13 and a half years.”  Vomit.  Just words.  No meaning.  No heart.  So when that drink was left for me, it yelled at me.  My insurance policy had lapsed long ago when I stopped going to meetings.  So I drank it.

   Immediately the devil and the drink, the disease of Alcoholism, took over every fiber of my being.  Immediately I wanted more.  Thus, lying, cheating, hiding and all the negativity that comes with my drinking once again reared its ugly head.  You see, the disease was doing push ups waiting for that pinhole of weakness to arise.  And it did!

   Once being exposed to AA and going back out (drinking, drugging), actively using will never be the same.  We have learned where this disease will take us.  To the gates of insanity, hell or death.  “Thinking” that I was having a nervous breakdown, my doctor told me to simply get back into AA.  Never even occurred to me; that’s how sick I was.

   Once again I am on that pick cloud of life in sobriety doing everything suggested by the fellowship and my new sponsor.  I take a 1-Year Chip.  And then…

   I guess I wasn’t truly ready to surrender to this disease.  I needed to play Russian Roulette just one more time.  When my dentist asked if I had any pain pills before extracting a tooth (and I did check off on the admission form that I AM an alcoholic; so what?), this happy little kid in a candy store elatedly said, “No!”  Off and running again. So when there was no pain and plenty of pills left, I knew I had blown my sobriety, so I drank them down.  

   Hey, I was actively involved in AA and the fellowship.  What gives?  My Higher Power gives.  He gives me lessons and a journey to bring me to where He needs me to be.

   A few more months of enjoying the high of lying, cheating, hiding.  Hitting meetings and repeatedly saying, “Hi, I’m Dee.  I’m an alcoholic.  I drank last night”.  Then drinking again.  Going through an out-patient program.  Hitting my knees.  Hoping through osmosis that I would stop drinking.

   Surrender and acceptance.  Today I have a 5-year chip.  I also have a 1-year chip.  And a 13-year chip.  No guarantees, boys and girls.  Please, do not “Keep Coming Back”.  PLEASE, DO NOT EVER LEAVE!!!

   Much aloha to you and thank you for reading.  Know that you are not unique and definitely not alone.  We are here for you.  Not to judge you but to love you until you can love yourself.  Know not to feel guilt nor shame.  Just accept and surrender.  Let’s ride this pink cloud together…forever and ever!

   Aloha, Dee

For those interested in Art with a Message of Recovery, Hope and Optimism, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

No Regrets: 10 Ways to Start Each Day with a Clean Slate 

No Regrets: 10 Ways to Start Each Day with a Clean Slate 

By Tamara Lechner

“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss”—Jonathan Larson 

There’s a Buddhist parable called The Second Arrow. The story explains that in life, pain is inevitable. You will experience the pain of loss, betrayal, diagnosis, or grief. The pain is likened to being shot by an arrow and is outside of your personal control. However, when you get stuck pulling on the arrow and complaining about the arrow to show people that you have been shot, the subsequent pain, anger, and suffering is entirely your fault. This is the second arrow. 

Living a fully present life keeps you from rehashing your mistakes, your breakups, and the job you should have taken. It allows peace of mind. You may know this already and yet pain from the past intrudes on your present- day happiness. Here are a few tips to help you avoid the second arrow. 

1. Practice Gratitude 

Being truly grateful keeps you in the moment. When you focus your attention on something or someone, your feelings of reverence will keep you in the moment. Gratitude (http://www.chopra.com/articles/how-to- develop-a-gratitude-mindset) happens in the now, no matter when the experience that you are grateful for actually happened. 


Getting in the moment takes practice.  Concentrating on what is right in front of my nose is not an easy task when thoughts and events are whirring through my mind and in front of my eyes.  But when that happens I feel yucky.  And when I feel yucky I thank those feelings for coming, let them know they are not serving me, then ask them to leave.  That takes effort as well but is part of getting back in the moment.  When those feelings are whisked away in the clouds I am once again present…for that I am grateful.

2. Make a No “What Ifs” Rule 

Spinning on what might have been keeps you from moving forward. Your thoughts may seem to circle back again and again to the things you think you could or should have done differently. When you catch yourself thinking a “what if,” just recognize that you didn’t and move forward. 


As I age my energy seems less.  So the energy that I can scoop together I choose to use in a positive way.  Why would I want to zap it all up by wallowing in the past of “what if’s”?  Also the disc space in my brain is about full.  I need to free up some space by deleting and trashing information that I no longer use, nor need.  So I make more disc space by relinquishing the regrets and resentments that I might be holding on to, again, into the clouds.  Ta Da!  Lots of room now for the adventures and learnings I am supposed to experience today!

3. Reframe Your Past to Make You the Hero in Your Life Story 

You may tell your story in a way that doesn’t paint a flattering picture. Try to rethink your scenario in a way that has you in a position of power. For example, if you regret not going to college, instead of continuing to tell a story of regret, decide to either make a plan to get to college or to tell a story that supports the path you chose instead. 


I entered sobriety with such guilt and shame and “incomprehensible demoralization”.  I actually hated myself and wondered why I was even taking space on the planet.  Lo and behold, I today have come to terms with those feelings of self-loathing and realize now that was the journey necessary for me to get where I am today.  Today I have purpose.  Today I have peace.  Today I “get to” share my experience, strength, and hope with others who are in that dark place of self hate, confusion or hopelessness.

4. Get Physical 

Take a dance class or a yoga class, or give surfing or rollerblading a go. When you choose an activity that requires your focus to balance or to learn a sequence of motions, your brain will be busy doing something other than ruminating on your past. 


It works!  I am not a health nut but I have found that getting out of this chair and getting my blood flowing works wonders on my mental wellbeing.  This is such common sense but is way harder for me to do than letting go of my shitty thoughts.  I feel like I can carry the weight of the world on my shoulders after a yoga class, meditation or a hike in the woods.  I’ve got to stop making excuses and put “physical” on my To-Do List.

5. Make a To-Do List 

Having a plan for today keeps you from feeling ungrounded. If you fill your day with meaningful tasks (http://www.chopra.com/articles/5-reasons-to-never-ditch-your-to-do-list), you will have something to keep you from falling back into the pattern of regret. 


My To-Do List, just like yours, runs off the page.  But I’ve disciplined myself to not get overwhelmed with this list and strive to check off just three To-Do’s per day.  This seems to work for me as most days I can accomplish way more than just three things.  But on the days that it’s a struggle to get anything done, three things is not such a big deal.

6. Go Outside 

Nature is like a natural reset button on your brain. The chemicals it releases when you get fresh air and sunshine help to overcome the ones released when you are sad, angry, or anxious. Use nature to sweep away the negative. 


I am so grateful to live in Hawaii.  Most of my day, everyday, all year round, is spent outdoors.  “Hey, wait a minute.  That’s not fair,” you say.  “Life isn’t always fair” is what I taught my kids.  Besides, living on the Big Island with Madam Pele’s plumes of poisonous gases isn’t all fun and games.  Feel better?

I do still spend as much time as I can outdoors until my eyes burn and throat feels scratchy.  There is something magical about feeling the wind (God wrapping His arms around me) and hearing the birds.  I can’t get that from the mole hole of indoor living.  Now go outside!

7. Remember, Happiness is a Choice 

In every moment, you have the choice to be happy. Victor Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust and founded the “Third Viennese School of Psychotherapy,” is quoted as saying, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” If you are choosing regret as a pattern, consciously make the decision to replace regret with a different emotion. Happiness (http://www.chopra.com/articles/where-do-you-stack-up-on-the-happiness-scale), hope, excitement, or curiosity are a few good ones. 


I choose to live in a “glass half full” state of mind.  When negativity comes my way, I turn it into a positive.  Living with optimism and hope changes not only my mindset, but my physical and spiritual wellbeing.  Life is too short, energy is too precious, and brain disc space is too limited to fill it with negative.

8. Start with a Mantra or Affirmation 

If your day begins with a thought like, “Today is the first day of the rest of my life” or “I’m excited for what today will bring,” it keeps your focus on the present and future. Choose a positive affirmation (http://www.chopra.com/articles/daily-affirmations-your-hour-by-hour-positivity-plan) to start each day. 


When I found myself in a treatment program for alcoholism, one of the exercises we did each morning before meditation was to repeat an affirmation aloud to the group.  The affirmation I chose was “I am a good person.  I am a whole person.”

If you recall from above, before getting sober I felt anything but good nor whole.  I was a piece of shit who hated herself for not being able to go a day without drinking.  I had no self-control nor self- will.  I would look in the mirror and say, “Loser.”  I hated that the drink was more important than my kids.  It was my life.  I was exhausted living a life of hiding, cheating, deception and lying.  I couldn’t go on any longer.  Thank God I didn’t kill myself or anyone else.

Today I am so thankful for that affirmation and still repeat it to get myself back in the moment of gratitude and humility.  It brings me back in the moment and to a Power Greater Than Myself.  I finally feel good about myself, who and what I am, my journey.  It all happened perfectly, just the way it was supposed to.  “I am a good person.  I am a whole person.”

9. End with a Highlight Reel 

Getting to sleep can be difficult if your thoughts keep circling to what could have been. Try counting your blessings instead of counting sheep. It makes for a nice transition from waking to sleeping state and sets your mind up to begin positively the next morning. 

I start my day with thanking my Higher Power for the journey we will take together today, that He is in control and I am not.  I am just along for the ride to experience and learn from the events I am supposed to encounter today.  I just ask to do my best, to be mindful and respectful, compassionate and loving.  His will; not mine.

I end my day by reviewing today’s events and being thankful for doing my best and the “we” of my Higher Power and me.

10. Avoid Comparing 

Social media like Facebook or LinkedIn has a way of showing you the highlight reel of your friends’ lives. Make sure you don’t compare their highlights (http://www.chopra.com/articles/comparing-yourself-again-4-tips-to- survive-social-media-envy) to your unedited version. 

Life isn’t a contest. Wherever you are at this time is exactly perfect for you; otherwise, you wouldn’t be there. Discover Deepak Chopra’s daily habits to find peace and happiness—no matter what is going on in your life—at our Weekend Within retreat. Learn More. (https://www.chopra.com/live-events/weekend-within/) 


I feel it is so important for you to feel good in your own skin.  To love and accept yourself as the perfect human being you are at this very moment.  If you can do that, social media doesn’t matter.  Our society-fed bombardments of wealth, power and beauty don’t matter.  We have to unlearn all that to get us to a place of self-love and self-worth.  It can be done.  It takes time and patience.

For me the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Fellowship, and a good sponsor helped me to peel away the onion skin of what makes Dee tick.  I understand who I am now and why I did what I did.  I understand now my journey through life that lead me to today.

I wish this for you and with that,

Aloha, Dee

For those interested in Art with a Message of Inspiration and Affirmations, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

Share This Article 

Section: Personal Growth (/articles/139/all)
Topics: Psychology (/articles/all/50) Personal Growth (/articles/all/27) 

About the Author 

Tamara Lechner (/bios/tamara-lechner) Certified Instructor: Meditation 

Tamara Lechner is a happiness expert and Chopra-Certified Primordial Sound Meditation (/articles/what-is- primordial-sound-meditation) Instructor. Her mission is to be so happy that those around her cannot help but step into her light. She enjoys writing, speaking, and teaching about how a positive mindset affects business, relationships, health, and life satisfaction. Tamara is often found throwing epic parties or walking barefoot in the sand. Join her on The Happiness Trajectory (http://www.ahamoments4u.com/free-online–the-happiness- trajectory.html), a free online mindset reboot, or find out more about her at… Read more (/bios/tamara-lechner) 


How to Stand Up for Your Beliefs Without Confrontation 

How to Stand Up for Your Beliefs Without Confrontation 

By Adam Brady

Your core values are a fundamental quality of your personality and sense of who you are. They define the concepts and principles that shape your being and influence your choices throughout the course of your life. Most of the time these values work quietly behind the scenes as they subtly influence your thoughts, speech, and actions. However, on occasion you may find the need to stand up for your beliefs and hold firm to what you believe to be right and true. Doing so in a skillful, conscious, and non-confrontational manner can make all the difference in helping your perspective be heard in a firm, yet compassionate way. 

Consider the following suggestions whenever you feel the need to hold firm to your beliefs in the face of opposition: 

Know What You Believe and Stand For 

While this may sound like an obvious first step, it is one that can be easily overlooked. Dedicate some quality time to prioritize your fundamental beliefs. Write them down in order of importance so you can clearly see what matters most in your life. This is also a perfect opportunity to connect with your higher self through meditation (http://www.chopra.com/articles/start-here-5-meditation-styles-for-beginners). By tapping into the deeper level of your soul regularly, you can more easily access the most profound qualities and values you wish to embody. 


Before I ever considered tapping into my higher self through meditation, I had to take a real look at myself.  I knew that when I looked in the mirror I despised that person I was looking at.  That was when I could not go a day without a drink.  Drinking was my life; everyone and everything else came later.

When I finally surrendered and asked for help, I found myself in a treatment program for alcoholism.  There is when I was given the opportunity to not only prioritize my fundamental beliefs, but to find out who I am, what makes me tick.

Once I started to do what was suggested to me in the recovery program, which included attending AA meetings and following the suggestions I heard there, everything really started to fall into place.  Working the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (by the way, I do not represent AA in any way, shape or form.  I am just a true believer that it works!) has given me “Dee” back, the Dee I can be proud of just for doing her best in a rigorously honest and loving way.  And AA has shown me how to find my Higher Power and that is where my fundamental beliefs really start to take shape.

Consciously Choose Your Battles 

It’s important to recognize that not all situations require you to defend your beliefs tooth and nail. As the great military general Sun Tzu once said, “If a battle can’t be won, don’t fight it.” When circumstances arise that may challenge your beliefs, consciously consider if it ranks high enough on your list of values to take a stand for or if it’s not worth the time and energy involved in trying to convince another.  Remember the well-known adage: A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. 


This reminds me of when I filed an appeal with my Union for what I felt was unfair treatment.  I know in my heart that I was right.  I wrote letter after letter and made call after call.  I documented everything.  It wasn’t about the money; it was all about the principle that they were getting away with something, probably so petty to them, but major for me.

It took me years of going back and forth on this issue that I realized it so was not worth the energy, the NEGATIVE energy, that I was expending on this effort.  I want to spend my energy going forth in positive directions, to made a difference to better my life and those of others.  This was not worth fighting for.  Would I rather be right or happy?  I choose happy!

Take Action or Say Something 

Once the conscious choice is made to stand up for your beliefs, commit to taking action. Take a deep breath, muster your courage, and speak up; take a stand and point out that a line has been crossed. This is not a time for neutrality—your beliefs aren’t much good if you’re unwilling to act upon them. Being an agent of change requires that you call forth the fearlessness of your soul to speak through you and hold firm to what you know to be true and right. 


Ok.  The boss is calling me into his office over the intercom.  I say four Serenity Prayers as I walk to his office.  He’s unhappy with a choice I’ve made; it’s inconvenient for him (and his business).  I realized that before I made this choice, but I made the choice nonetheless because he was a horrible boss and human being.  Yikes!  Did I say that?  Yes!  And to his face.  We spoke for 45 minutes.

Those Serenity Prayers helped tremendously in getting me centered for this confrontation.  I handed it over to my Higher Power.  I asked for the words to say and that I not react.  I did not shake.  I did not cry.  I felt grounded and calm.  God had my back as He always does and when the meeting was over, my boss and I had gained a newfound respect for each other.

Speak with Impeccability 

When standing up for your values, it’s vital to be impeccable and skillful in your speech. Assertively hold the line yet strive to be courteous and polite while defending your point of view. Understand there is a difference between criticizing another’s beliefs and attacking them as a person. Try to take the higher road and utilize what Buddhists call Right Speech: abstaining from lying, divisive and abusive speech, or idle chatter. Essentially, you should speak only words that do no harm, especially when defending your beliefs.


I love the book The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.  It is one of the tools in my toolbox for life, along with the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Learning to be impeccable with my word is still a work in progress for me, but I find myself thinking and feeling my thoughts more now before they leave my mouth.

Remain Objective and Avoid Emotional Reactivity 

When boundaries of beliefs are threatened, it becomes very easy for the situation to escalate emotionally. In such situations, it is key to remain objective and maintain a clear head. Try to see the issue from a removed, third-party perspective. Avoid taking things too seriously or personally and work to remember that your true identity is the ever-present witnessing awareness that doesn’t judge or evaluate; it simply observes. Harness that stillness to project a calm, confident energy as you stand up for what you believe in.


Over the years in my life in recovery, I’ve expanded my horizons by practicing yoga and meditation.  These practices help me to remain calm, balanced, centered while AA has helped me to finally be comfortable in my own skin and love myself for who and what I am.  Why would I want to invite drama or chaos in?  I don’t.  I love no longer having to react.  I love being able to walk away and to honor my boundaries.  The energy I expend today is going to be used in a positive way.

Compassionately Respect Other People’s Perspectives as Valid for Them 

While you may not agree with their perspective, those who challenge your values have beliefs of their own, which from their perspective are completely appropriate. The experiences of your life have shaped your choices and beliefs, and the course of another’s evolution is just as sacred and valid as your own. Oscar Wilde is keen to remind us that, “Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.” Their soul has chosen a life with its own set of unique challenges and opportunities, and you are not qualified to judge those choices. The best you can do is to compassionately work to find the middle ground where you can coexist in harmony. 


I try so hard not to judge, but I do observe.  And this includes me walking in “their” shoes.  Yes, we’re all on our own journeys.  Journeys that reserve respect and compassion.  Our journeys have shaped us into who we are today and shall continue shaping us until the day we die.  Sharing our journeys is magical when we intertwine our journeys together.

Having different beliefs I find exciting, spicy.  If we were all on the same page, life would be pretty boring.  You were not put on this planet to please me, nor I, you.  And today, because I finally feel worthy in my own skin, I’m okay with that.  We don’t need to start the next war.  We just go on about our business giving each other the respect we deserve for the opinions we have.

Let Go of the Outcome 

Remember, your objective is to stand up for your beliefs, not necessarily change another person’s beliefs. Sometimes, it may be enough to hold your ground and be a voice for what matters to you. Having done so, you can let go of trying to change others and let the universe handle the outcome. Know that every thought, word, and deed that supports the expansion of peace, harmony, compassion, justice, honesty, truth, and love influences the collective consciousness of the world. Or as Robert F. Kennedy put it: 

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.


These words give me chicken skin.  Yes, we all do matter.  Our opinions.  Our voices.  We can make a change in the world we want to see.  But it all starts with knowing, then loving, who you are and what you stand for.  With that empowerment we can stand up for our beliefs without confrontation and set the example for the next person…and the next person…just like those ripples.

For those interested in Art with a Message of Hope and Empowerment, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.

Mahalo and Aloha, Dee

About the Author 

Adam Brady, Vedic Educator 

Yoga teacher, author, and martial artist Adam Brady has been associated with the Chopra Center for nearly 20 years. He is a certified Vedic Educator trained in Primordial Sound Meditation (/articles/what-is-primoridal- sound-meditation), Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga (/teach/seven-spiritual-laws-yoga-teacher-training target=), and Perfect Health: Ayurvedic Lifestyle (/teach/perfect-health-certification-program), and regularly teaches in the Orlando, Florida, area. Over the last several years, Adam has worked to introduce corporate mind-body wellness programs into the workplace within a large… Read more (/bios/adam-brady)

From The Chopra Center 6/20/17

Don’t Believe Everything You Think 

Don’t Believe Everything You Think 


donnasartofnow Articles, Spiritual Art, awareness, Design, Donna J Parker, Illustration, inspiration, life, light worker, meditation, motivation, self empowerment, Spiritual, Thoughts

Secret to Being: Just because you think something does not make it true. Thoughts are incredibly powerful and can take control of our lives. Some thoughts are meaningful and are worth paying attention to, and other thoughts are noise that are renting too much space in our brains. 

Imagine you are introduced to a business associate named Mark. When you shake Mark’s hand, you notice him look away. What you say to yourself about Mark’s behavior will be automatic, and will determine how you feel about the encounter. If you say to yourself, “Mark is rude. He insulted me by not looking at me,” you may feel angry. If you say to yourself, “Mark could tell I am uninteresting,” you will feel dejected. If you say to yourself, “Mark must be nervous because it is his first day,” you may feel compassion. How you act toward Mark will directly follow your thoughts and feelings. If you thought he was rude you might avoid him. If you thought he was feeling nervous, you might try to make him feel welcome. 

Life provides us with an endless supply of opportunities to create meaning and it is how we interpret those events, and what we decide they mean about ourselves and the world. To a large degree our thoughts determine our feelings, behaviors and outcomes. But YOU are not your thoughts. You are the consciousness from which your thoughts arise. The human capacity to think (while great in comparison to other living creatures) is incredibly susceptible to error. Cognitive bias, false assumptions, misinformation, ego and limited beliefs are just a few patterns of unhealthy thought processes that can interfere. 


I try not to think too much today.  I have learned that living from my heart, that feeling in my gut, my intuition, me, is a much better place to be.

I have also learned as an alcoholic in recovery that I am not in control.  Not in control of people, places and things, so pretty much nothing.  But I am in control of my thoughts.  And today I have a Higher Power in my life to which I can turn my will and my life, and my thoughts, over to.

I am all of the experiences I’ve had over my lifetime.  How I look at them, how I feel about them is up to me.  I look at each and every occurrence as non-coincidental, that everything happens for a reason, put there by my Higher Power.  I can use these to learn and grow as I feel is the intention, or I can get back in my head, take over control, and resist.  Today I choose to live positively, hopefully, and optimistically, so I can treat everything that happens to me as nurturing.

The average person thinks between 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day. Ranging from the mundane — I need to buy milk, to the significant — I love you, to the self-destructive — I’m not good enough. In the moment, our thinking seems logical. According the Psychology Today, “When we examine long patterns of brain activity, it’s clear that thoughts can be unstable and often arbitrary, shifting depending on context and contradicting our better instincts.” 

Our internal decisions/thoughts determine whether we are “rich” or “poor,” happy or sad, angry or joyful, appreciative or resentful. Unfortunately, we give our automatic thoughts too much power. When you choose to believe a thought your mind works to find ways to support that idea with evidence that may or may not be based on pure truth. Many of us do this on a daily basis: we find a thought that we believe to be true and we build ideas around it to support or deny it. We don’t always use facts or truth; often relying on emotionally driven concepts or feelings. By becoming aware of our thoughts, evaluating them, and changing those thoughts that are inaccurate or unhelpful, we can improve the quality of our lives. 


No matter how shitty I “think” my day is going, I strive to get back in the moment in front of my nose as quickly as I can.  This moment is all I have, and it’s perfect.  I can feel gratitude and humility.  Knowing I don’t have to pick up a drink or a drug today gives me heaps.  Realizing how many people who would love to have my worst days gets me back right-sized.

And if I remember that everything is happening for a reason I am afforded the ability to change that negative into a positive.  I will learn from this.  I will grow from this.  I will be a better person.  I will share this lesson with optimism with others.

Are your thoughts serving you well? If you suspect that your automatic thinking may be having a negative impact on your mood, relationships, financial health or quality of life, consider the following techniques to maximize productive thinking and minimize mental clutter. 

How do you react when you believe that thought? Is the question to ask yourself when you are unsure of whether or not to believe what you are thinking. Consider what the thought does to you. Even if it is 100% true and valid, it is important to now look at whether or not the thought is worth having. Is it helping you in any way? Is it bringing you down? Is there any value in the thought? If not, you need to let the thought go — or take action so you can let it go. 


It’s taken me six decades to learn that if it doesn’t serve me, especially my thoughts, and I get that oh-oh feeling in my gut, I’ve got to let it go…now.  I embrace it and thank it for coming.  And then I let it go…into the clouds to be taken far, far away.  I also use my God Box if I’m in a conundrum about what to do about a thought or feeling that I know needs my attention.  I’ll know in my gut when my Higher Power gives me the answer and direction.  In other words, I can let go of the alcoholic in me that wants it here and now.  When the student is ready, the Master appears.

Know the difference between Ego and Higher Self. Your Ego is your lower animal nature. It is all about self, fear and survival. The Ego talks very loud and is hard to ignore. By contrast, your Higher Self is your wisdom, creativity and intuition. The Higher Self speaks very quietly and can be difficult to hear. Listen closely to the Higher Self (and edge out the Ego). It will create a healthier, happier mind. Bottom line: listen more, react less. 


Live from your heart and not your head…Ego vs. Higher Self.

Focus on the narrative you want to live. Mental clutter distracts us from our personal mission. Because what you focus on for a sustained period of time becomes your reality, it is essential to decide the purpose you want to fulfill and direct your mental focus toward this narrative. 


Today I am sober and that is a gift I do not take lightly.  Were I not sober I would not have my awesome Higher Power nor the miracles presented to me.  Sobriety and my Higher Power has given me a purpose that I never had before…to share my experience, strength and hope with all who enter my “bubble”.  Sharing optimism, compassion, respect and mindfulness feels right for me and allows me to wake up excitedly, gratefully and humbly every morning.

Meditate. Businesses executives, entrepreneurs and artists are using mindful nonthinking to achieve higher levels of creativity and success. Twenty minutes of meditation each day gives you a break from your thoughts and helps other aspects of your life and business fall into place. 


It’s amazing how much “stuff” I’ve crammed into my brain over the last six decades.  My disc is full and I’ve got to start emptying the cache to experience this moment.  So I’ve learned I must simplify and clear out not only my head, but whatever doesn’t serve me in my life.  It’s freeing.  Try it.

And taking that small amount of time for YOU to just be quiet will help you to get back in the moment.  The regrets of the past doesn’t serve you, nor does worry about the future.  All we have is now…and it’s perfect…you’re perfect!

With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in Art with a Message of Hope and Inspiration, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and have an awesome day!

In summary, what we CAN control is our response to these thoughts. By becoming aware of our thoughts, evaluating them, and changing those thoughts that are inaccurate or unhelpful, we can improve the quality of our lives. 


Note: this is a repost of my January 2017, Capital City Hues (http://www.capitalcityhues.com) article. 

Posted by donnasartofnow 

Artist, Writer, Graphic Design, Jazz Radio Host here to Inform, Inspire & Ignite you to live the life you really want. 

Donʼt Believe Everything You Think – THE ART OF NOW 5/26/17, 9*19 AM