The Fulfillment of Desire

Energy of Attraction

Welcome to the 21-Day Meditation Experience, Energy of Attraction. We are honored you’re joining us as we seek our true nature and discover our path to health and happiness. You will discover your soul’s purpose and create a life in which all things are within reach.

Day 5

The Fulfillment of Desire

“Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.”― Erich Fromm

Today’s meditation addresses our sense of self-worth and its impact on fulfilling our desires. Your true self – your core consciousness, is divine. You are pure light, love, joy, and fulfillment. You deserve happiness and the fulfillment of your desires, because happiness and fulfillment are your essential nature.

In today’s meditation, we will experience our inner selves and know our true worth. As our experience of our real self becomes stronger, so does our awareness that we are deserving of all that is good. You don’t have to do anything to be deserving – you already are deserving.

CENTERING THOUGHT

I deserve complete fulfillment.

SANSKRIT MANTRA

Shreem Kleem Namah
I attract abundance from my true self.

OPRAH:

Welcome to Day 5 – The Fulfillment of Desire.  Worthiness is your birthright.  That’s what I’m here to tell you.  I’m here to let you know, for sure, that you are enough.  You are whole and complete simply because you were born.

When it comes to manifesting the lives we now most desire we attract the strongest support from the universe, when we start from a place of filling fulfilled and abundant, not from a place of lack.  Think for a moment about how the energy of attraction works.  Like attracts like.  That is the law.  So the energy of deficiency brings you more deficiency.

As you embrace and connect with your wholeness, your true self, you align with the most powerful energy in the universe, that which is the source of all things.  I’m calling it source energy which is ready and waiting to flow with you, to help you, support you, in all that you desire.

As Deepak leads us into our meditation today, open your heart to the truth that you are complete.  You are one-hundred percent complete just as you are.  In that knowingness you can attract all that you are complete true-self desires.  Deepak is going to show us how fulfillment is the exquisite basis of our very existence and then we’ll meditate.

DEE:

You know, before I got sober I felt so empty, void of anything that gave me happiness or purpose, and, for sure, I had no self-worth.  As a matter of fact I would look at myself in the mirror at place at “L” over my forehead and call myself “looser”.  I was in a pretty pathetic place.

I know now that that was the journey I was meant to take to bring me to where I am today.  I would so not appreciate my life today, nor myself, had I not trudged that road.  And I know now that it was by the Grace of God (my Higher Power of My Own Understanding that was introduced to me in an alcohol treatment program and later in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous) that I was chosen to carry a message of Experience, Strength and Hope with whoever enters my Dee Bubble.

DEEPAK:

We have a desire because we feel a lack.  Just as hunger makes you eat when your stomach is empty.  There is a sense of need behind every desire.  Need is double-edged.  If it’s part of growing, expanding, and evolving, need is good.  Everyone benefits from the need to explore who they are, to find more love, to reach for the highest.

But the other side of need is feeling that you yourself are not enough.  You need more things, more money, more food, more distractions, because otherwise you feel empty.  The energy of attraction will be weak if this is your motivation.  After all, how could a person with a bad self-image harness power?

At the level of your true-self you already feel complete.  You are whole.  The only thing the true-self wants is to see you whole, also, which involves growth, expansion and evolution.  Just being yourself you direct the energy of attraction where it needs to go.  There’s no need for massive will-power.  Because fulfillment is our true nature, our birthright, the energy of attraction is working for us in a positive direction.  That is it’s natural tendency.

DEE:

As I started to work the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a trusted sponsor, I came to realize how fear-based I had lived most of my life.  In looking back over the decades I can see how living in a society that promotes more power, money, good looks, and things doesn’t do any of us any service.  It just makes us all feel less than

So I never felt good enough which led me to becoming an over-achiever.  I had to have your approval because I didn’t feel good about myself.  I put your thoughts over myself and over the needs of my family.  I was so insecure.  Thus, with such a bad self-image I kept reaping what I sowed…more negativity in the depths of my alcoholism.

When I completed working the 12 Steps with my sponsor I was so excited about the changes that were happening in my life…and in me!  It all started to make sense as I learned what made me tick.  A weight has been lifted from my shoulders all due to being sober and learning to live a spiritual life.

Today I live from my heart and not my head.  I no longer have to react.  I no longer have to be in control as I have a Higher Power that protects and guides me.  He teaches me what I need to learn and introduces me to who I need to meet.  There are no coincidences.  This is His journey for me to grow and become a better human being.

I can be mindful and respectful of you and your opinions.  We are all equal here on this earth; no one is any better or worse than the next.  I have not walked in your shoes, nor you in mine, so I can offer you compassion and genuine caring.

I have been gifted the ability to live in the moment and to have faith that everything is perfect at this moment.  And with that I can remain grateful and humble as I have not done this on my own.  My Higher Power is in control and has awarded me a wealth of like-minded people who walk the same path as me.  We support each other; we nurture each other.

DEEPAK:

But we make the decisions.  Our personal choices defines what gets attracted to us.  If you feel unworthy or guilty about desiring good things for ourselves, it means we do not know our true-self.

Once set in motion a desire brings more than one isolated result.  All desires are woven together in our lives.  A new car, a new love interest, a new faith each speaks to how we see ourselves.  The self we identify with.  And that is always changing.  When we desire with conscious awareness we are connecting to what the true-self wants for us.  In a word, the next thing you want is the best thing for you.

DEE:

So today I feel comfortable in my own skin.  I love myself for who and what I am.  I strive to give what was so freely given me when I needed it most.  I am thankful when I go to bed that I did the best I could and that’s good enough.  I am excited when I wake up to new experiences and new growth.

Living with the viewpoint that the glass is half-full has given me such a contentment and fulfillment that I never knew I lacked.  The relationships in my life grow stronger everyday because I can just be myself and I can be rigorously honest without the fear of what anyone thinks of me.  I have done my best.

We are all deserving, worthy and whole.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Do your best to unlearn what society has pounded into our souls since birth.  Be true to yourself and let your inner child out and run free!  And know you are never alone on your journey.  Don’t deprive us of helping you out and don’t deprive us of the gift that you are!

Thank you for being here.  I encourage feedback.  No judgements, just the respect you deserve.  With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in Art with a Message of Self-Worth and Self-Love, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

DEEPAK:

As we prepare to meditate together let’s take a moment to consider our centering thought, “I deserve complete fulfillment.  I deserve complete fulfillment.”  Now let’s prepare for our meditation.  Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes.  Begin to be aware of your breath and just breathe, slowly and deeply.  With each breath allow yourself to become more deeply relaxed.

Now gently introduce the mantra, “Shreem Kleem Namah.”  This mantra affirms that you deserve the fulfillment of all your deepest desires.  As you repeat the mantra feel that you’re drawing divine abundance into your life by being deserving, worthy, and whole.  Repeat it silently to yourself, “Shreem Kleem Namah.”  With each repetition feel your body, mind and spirit open and receive just a little more.

Whenever you find yourself distracted by thoughts, noises or physical sensations, simply return your attention to silently repeating the mantra, “Shreem Kleem Namah.  Shreem Kleem Namah.  Shreem Kleem Namah.”  Please continue with your meditation.

I’ll mind the time and when it’s time to end, you’ll here me ring a soft bell.  “Shreem Kleem Namah.  Shreem Kleem Namah.  Shreem Kleem Namah.”  Just mentally, “Shreem Kleem Namah.  Shreem Kleem Namah.  Shreem Kleem Namah.”

From the Chopra Center.

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Effortless Creation

Energy of Attraction

Welcome to the 21-Day Meditation Experience, Energy of Attraction. We are honored you’re joining us as we seek our true nature and discover our path to health and happiness. You will discover your soul’s purpose and create a life in which all things are within reach.

Day 4

Effortless Creation

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” ― Maya Angelou

Usually, when we want to manifest a cherished wish or desire in our lives, our first instinct is to act on that impulse. Action of course is necessary, but today we will learn to start with a different approach. To harness Nature’s infinite creative power, we need to release desire into the stillness of our Being. In today’s meditation we will learn to let go of our intention, where it then settles into the field of pure potentiality where all the laws of creation are ready to help manifest it.

This is the most effective way to manifest desires, and the simplest and easiest way to bring your hopes and dreams to life. That doesn’t mean action and persistence aren’t also essential. They are, but they too come in after letting the seed of intention rest into the silence of your true self. This ensures that your actions and focus will be supported and aligned with Nature’s intelligence, not separate from it.

DEE:

OK.  I’m such a novice at this meditation thing.  Harnessing Nature’s infinite creative power.  Still of our Being.  Intentions.  Pure Potentiality.  Way above my head…  So how I’m going to try to fake it ’til I make it, to allow this all to unfold, is to put this all in my God Box.

I have turned my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand God.  This is my Higher Power of my own understanding who is in control and allows me to come along for the ride, learning, growing, prospering, and experiencing what He sees fit.

My God has also taught me to stop thinking so much, to go with the flow and live from my heart.  As an intellect for most of my life, this was a bit difficult.  But once I tried it, I found it worked and I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders.

So when I “feel” in my gut what my God urges me to do, I do.  I have to do the footwork.  That is why I am writing this blog right this minute.  I “felt” a calling.  For this intellect I can’t explain why this is all working for me today, but it does.  Therefore, I’m a believer to just go with the flow and reap the rewards for doing so.

CENTERING THOUGHT

My desires are fulfilled from my true self.

SANSKRIT MANTRA

Ahrah Kahrah
My desires have the power to manifest.

OPRAH:

Welcome to Day 4 – Effortless Creation.  Ah, I think you’re gonna love this one.  ‘Cause we all know that wonderful feeling when we’re in sync with the energy of the universe.  That joyful, energizing space where things just seem to come to you effortlessly, flowing, in complete alignment with everything that is.

Now, it’s so easy to slip out of sync with that energy of the universe.  And when we do life becomes a struggle.  You feel more depleted than invigorated.  And you can lose your way.

DEE:

When I am out of sync I am back in the “Dee has taken over control” mode.  I quickly realize that I need to get back right-sized, get grateful, and get humble.  I have not gotten to where I am in this peace and contentment because I willed it.  So I immediately get back in the present moment which brings me back to my Higher Power.  I breathe.  I pay attention.  I am back in sync.

OPRAH:

When we express our deepest desires, set our intentions, do our best and then let it go…surrender…you immediately can get closer to fulfilling your dreams.  We become magnets for goodness to come to us.  We create openness for our deepest desires to manifest, and find ourselves once again.

DEE:

Surrendering and allowing my God to drive me around on His magic carpet ride of life has shown me dreams beyond my wildest expectations.  I am grateful and that emanates from me.  That attracts more goodness.  What we reap is what we sow.

OPRAH:

In today’s meditation Deepak is going to guide us on how to tap into the truth of ourselves, allowing effortless creation to unfold.  Together let us hold the intention of what we most desire, then detach or surrender the outcome, allowing the energy of attraction to flow freely through us with grace and ease.  And from that place we’ll meditate.

DEEPAK:

Struggling to get what you want isn’t what nature intends.  When you let good things be attracted to you, manifestation is easy and enjoyable.  The secret lies in having a desire and letting go.  This is the state of detachment.

Unfortunately, most people try to get what they want by being the opposite of detached.  They have cravings, addictions, obsessions and fixations.  They dwell on what they want over and over again.  This brings up what seems like a contradiction.  

DEE:

OK.  This was me.  As an alcoholic in recovery, the above paragraph describes me to a T.  I want it and I want it now.  Instant gratification.  All about me.  I’m in control.  Don’t care who I step on to get it.  I’ll lie.  I’ll cheat.  I’ll stab you in the back.  My cravings, addictions, obsessions and fixations were who I was and why I lived.  I was exhausted, lost and living in a dark place.

Today I am so blessed, so grateful, that I was chosen to be sober and not dead.  I have purpose today that I get to carry my message of Experience, Strength and Hope.  I am alive and excited!

DEEPAK:

You do need passion to achieve your aspirations.  You need action and often hard work to arrive at the goal.  But if you desire from the level of the true self, these things bring you a kind of effortless joy.  You can stand aside and watch the whole process unfold.

Detachment isn’t the same as indifference.  When you let go you aren’t saying, “I don’t care what happens.”  You say, “I’m open to whatever happens and when it comes I will know the next step to take”.

DEE:

Detachment for me is getting out of the way and allowing what is supposed to happen unfold.  There are no coincidences.  Everything happens for a reason.  I have to embrace that, allow it to happen, learn and grow…and not react.

DEEPAK:

The art of desire can be found in the single verse of the Bhagwad Gita, “Perform action without regard for the fruits of action”.  This is detachment and joy in one.  Because whatever happens you will always be centered in your true self.

DEE:

Go with the flow and know that everything is happening perfectly!

DEEPAK:

Having your desire at the level of the true self and then releasing it is the key.  Being centered in your true self you experience a quiet, relaxed state of confidence.  The ability to manifest what you desire allows you to let go so that your intention can enter the field of pure potentiality. From there the energy of attraction naturally flows with ease and harmony.

Manifestation isn’t the same as wishful thinking.  Action is still required to manifest the life we want but we don’t need to lose our silent center in the process.  The silent center guides us into the things we need to do, weeding out the unnecessary busy work and struggle.

As we prepare to meditate together let’s take a moment to consider our centering thought, “My desires are fulfilled from my true self.  My desires are fulfilled from my true self.”  Now let’s prepare for our meditation.  

DEE:

It’s so awesome to finally experience my true self.  Everything unfolded just the way it was meant to unfold.  I’m an addict/alcoholic.  I lived a dark, selfish and meaningless life.  I bottomed out.  I surrendered.  

I got to learn about my disease and, more importantly, about me from Alcoholics Anonymous and working their 12 Steps.  AA has given me a toolbox for living that is so right on with spirituality and meditation.  I love watching myself and my life unfold…if I just stay out of the way.

Thank you for being here.  I encourage feedback.  We are never alone and have gifts to share with the world.  Let’s do it and make the world a better place.

With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in my Artwork with a Message of Spirituality, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

 

DEEPAK:

Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes.  Begin to be aware of your breath and just breathe slowly and deeply.  With each breath allow yourself to become more deeply relaxed.

Now gently introduce the mantra, “Ahrah Kahrah.”  This mantra awakens the energy of creativity, transformation and materialization.  As you repeat the mantra feel the activation of the forces of creation and manifestation inside you.  Repeat it silently to yourself, “Ahrah Kahrah”.  With each repetition feel your mind, body and spirit open and receive just a little more.

Whenever you find yourself distracted by thoughts, noises or physical sensations simply return your attention to silently repeating the mantra, “Ahrah Kahrah.  Ahrah Kahrah.  Ahrah Kahrah.”  Please continue with your meditation.  I’ll mind the time.  And when it’s time to end you’ll hear me ring a soft bell.  “Ahrah Kahrah.  Ahrah Kahrah.  Ahrah Kahrah.”   Just mentally, “Ahrah Kahrah.  Ahrah Kahrah.” 

From The Chopra Center

The Spirit of Desire

Energy of Attraction

Welcome to the 21-Day Meditation Experience, Energy of Attraction. We are honored you’re joining us as we seek our true nature and discover our path to health and happiness. You will discover your soul’s purpose and create a life in which all things are within reach.

Day 2 – The Spirit of Desire

“It is an awesome thing to comprehend that what a human being dreams and imagines can be realized.” ― Vanna Bonta

CENTERING THOUGHT

My desires make me feel alive.

SANSKRIT MANTRA

Rasa Hum
I am the essence of life.

Today we will look at desire as the primal creative energy within us, and at the heart of creation. Desire is the feeling force of life itself. As we tap into this powerful life force, we want to make sure that what we manifest is not only positive and life-supporting in our lives, but for everyone else as well. To do that, we need to create from the level of intelligence of Nature that already upholds and harmoniously integrates all the diversity of the cosmos.

This isn’t just the easiest way to manifest desires that are beneficial for everyone – it’s really the only way to create in a way that that is in accord with all the other forces of evolution. Our silent awareness is aligned with the infinite intelligence of Nature, and our small ego mind isn’t. Today in meditation we will contact that source of desire – the source of thought, deep within awareness. Then as desire sprouts from that silence, it will attract all the nourishment and guidance it needs to manifest.

Oprah:

Welcome to Day 2 – The Spirit of Desire.  You were born to fulfill your destiny, your purpose, and your purpose is fueled by your desires.  From the moment you get out of bed you’re moving toward something you want, even if it’s as simple as your first sip of tea or coffee.  Having hopes, desires and ambitions is what makes you human.  It isn’t vain or self-centered; it’s part of life’s natural rhythm.

Dee:

For the first decades of my life I felt I had no purpose.  I especially felt this way when I was reaching my bottom in my disease of alcoholism.  I so could not figure out why I had to drink everyday.  I still had a home and family.  I still had a job.  I had family and friends who loved me.  So why in the hell could I not go a day without drinking?  Why did my life revolve around alcohol?  That’s all I could think about.

Well I know now that was my journey.  I know that now because my journey brought me to a treatment facility for alcoholism.  I learned about my disease and I learned about AA which has given me a toolbox for living a sober life…a life beyond my wildest dreams.

And in my toolbox is a Power Greater Than Myself, a Higher Power of my own understanding.  And that is where the magic happens!  Today I know my purpose.  Today I “get to” share my experience, strength and hope with all who enter my Dee Bubble.  I “get to” give back what was so freely given to me when I needed it most.

Oprah:

As Deepak shall show us there are laws that rule the universe.  The laws of the universe are neutral.  You can attract negative or positive forces in your life.  Your challenge is to nurture the truest and most authentic desires that are within you.  Those are the desires that fulfill you, expand you, and flow outwards to impact others for the good.  They are desires fueled by the energy of love, and love has many names.  Grace is love.  So is kindness, forgiveness, understanding, respect, cooperation, collaboration, harmony, a reverence for life, is love.

Deepak is going to take us to a deeper understanding of the creative, life-supporting nature of desire.  And then we’re going to meditate.

Deepak:

In order to master the art of desire the first step is to be judgement-free.  Many people feel guilty about their desires or think they want more than they deserve.  But in reality desire is natural and necessary to life.

Dee:

In order to keep my sobriety I must stay judgement-free.  I must just take care of my side of the street.  I am no better than you, nor you than me.  We are all equal and we are all on our own journeys.  I have not walked in your shoes, nor you in mine.  So how could we possibly judge each other?

Deepak:

We all want to attract more of the good things in life.  The energy of attraction is neutral.  You can attract positive or negative results.  Our goal is to make every desire positive, life-supporting and powerful.

Dee:

I reap what I sow.  If I am sowing negativity, that is what I shall receive.  So I choose to live as positively as I can.  I choose to find positivity in everything, no matter how horrific or hideous.  It is there if you look at the broad picture.

Deepak:

The highest desire you can have is to grow and evolve.  Nature is constantly expanding.  An ancient Indian scripture says, “I am one.  May I become many?  May I go forth?”  The desires, wishes and intentions you have everyday are what turn the present into the future, creating new things along the way.  So desire is a creative act.

Dee:

I wake up every morning now excited for what this new day will bring.  I know that I will be presented with new lessons, new relationships and new growth.  I was never excited before getting sober when I “came to” in the morning.  I had nothing to look forward to except my battle with alcohol, and my battle with myself.

My Higher Power gifts me each day with this new excitement.  Today I don’t have to pick up a drink.  I can if I want but why would I?  I know that first drink will wake up the Devil in me, my disease, and shout out for more.  I know that because I’ve tried it, after 13-1/2 years of being sober.  Yes, the disease is there doing push-ups, waiting for that pinhole of weakness, and then it is off and running worse than before.

So I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand God.  I know my god will protect and guide me today.  I know that my god has a plan for me today and I will do my best to listen to my heart, and learn and grow the way I believe is meant to be.

Deepak:

In Sanskrit the word for desire is karma and from the ancient times it was considered neither bad nor unspiritual.  The fulfillment of desire is one of the main goals of life, in fact, taught to every child in the traditional Indian household.  

Once you stop judging your desires you will realize that you’re designed to fulfill your intentions.  You begin to ask for what you want.  You do what it takes to get what you want.  You plan your whole life around desire.  Therefore, becoming skilled in manifesting your intentions is a worthy goal.  It doesn’t make you a selfish or greedy person.

When negativity is attached to desire intentions can run into trouble.  They become misguided or harmful, obsessive or desperate, frustrated and unfulfilled.  These problems don’t arise when the desire is life-supporting.  Without desire our existence would be flat, inert and uninteresting.

Dee:

I have got to keep myself in the moment.  When I do, I am centered; I am grateful; I am humble.  I can remember where I came from and where I am today.  Night and day.  I remember that I am not in control.  I remember that everything is perfect at this moment…that I am perfect at this moment.

And when I can remain in the moment I can remain positive.  I can remain good and whole.  Because when I was in rehab my affirmation was, “I am a good person.  I am a whole person.”  And I felt anything but.  I was a loser.  I was a waste of space on the planet.  I had no purpose.  I hated myself.

Deepak:

So the second step in harnessing the energy of attraction is to celebrate the fact that you have wishes, hopes, dreams and aspirations.  Inside your awareness lies the means to make any possibility come true.

As we prepare to meditate together let’s take a moment to consider our centering thought, “My desires make me feel alive.  My desires make me feel alive.”  Now let’s prepare for our meditation.  Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes.  Begin to be aware of your breath and just breathe, slowly and deeply.  With each breath allow yourself to become more deeply relaxed.

Now gently introduce the mantra, “Rasa Hum.”  Rasa is the essential quality or emotional flavor of life.  This mantra connects you with the vital energy or feeling of life itself.  As you repeat the mantra, feel the flavor.  Feel the aliveness of your spirit.  Repeat it silently to yourself.  “Rasa Hum.”  With each repetition feel your body, mind and spirit open and receive just a little more.

Whenever you find yourself distracted by thoughts, noises, or physical sensations, simply return your attention to silently repeating the mantra, “Rasa Hum.  Rasa Hum.  Rasa Hum.”

Please continue with your mediation.  I’ll mind the time.  And when it’s time to end you’ll hear me ring a soft bell.  “Rasa Hum.  Rasa Hum.  Rasa Hum.”  Just mentally, “Rasa Hum.  Rasa Hum.  Rasa Hum.”

Dee:

Getting sober and practicing the 12 Steps I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous opened up for me not only a sober life, but a spiritual life.  I am so drawn to meditation and yoga and this new way of life today.  I am so glad I am an alcoholic.  I may never have found this new way of life!

Thank you being here today.  I encourage any and all feedback as we are not meant to be on our journeys alone.  Namaste.

With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in Art with a Message of Spirituality, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

From Chopra Center Meditation

9-Step Strategy to Make a Decision

9-Step Strategy to Make a Decision 

By Tamara Lechner

It’s no secret that adulting is harder than you thought it would be when you were growing up. Children assume adults have all the answers. As a kid, this leads you to draw the conclusion that when you grow up you will automatically have them all, too.

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You may have been educated into believing that you don’t know yourself best. This begins in school when you are taught to listen to the rules rather than your own internal guidance system. You can no longer eat when you are hungry, move when you feel fidgety, or rest when you feel tired. In following the schedule designed for you, you begin to believe—because it is implied—that your teachers know what is  best for you. 

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Sure, you might want to color the sky green, but when you are told that the sky is supposed to be blue, you think that your impulse to use green was wrong. Eventually, you begin to subtly believe that you don’t know what is best for yourself. And this tiny shimmer of self-doubt grows as your coaches, parents, and peers point out that your music, clothes, sleep schedule, and food choices aren’t good choices for you. By the time you are college-aged, it’s amazing that you can make any choices at all. 

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Finding answers becomes a process of looking outside yourself for advice from experts who can offer experience and an educated opinion. It can also be about making pro/con lists. After you have gathered all the information you need, you frequently find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis—that place where rather than making a choice, you want to keep getting opinions from others. It seems you have lost the  ability to trust yourself. 

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Here’s a simple guide to reconnect with your self-trust, keeping in mind that nobody has your answers except you. 

Listen to Your Body 

Your body sends you signals of what is good for you and what isn’t. Practice hearing them. Sleep when you feel tired, eat a reasonably sized portion of healthy food when you are hungry, and move when your body needs to move. Be mindful of what your body wants.  

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Dee:

HALT…Hungry.  Angry.  Lonely.  Tired.  I realized early on in sobriety that being in HALT explained a lot of unhealthy thoughts and actions I had.  So when I flipped you off on the freeway or vomited out hurtful words that were supposed to remain in my head, I had better get a bite to eat or take a time-out.  Today I strive to stay out of HALT by practicing self-care prior to getting to that stage.

Go Inward 

Meditation allows you to tap into the inner wisdom you were born with. Like any muscle, the more you flex it, the more comfortable it becomes with being used. Listen to these guided meditations (http://www.chopra.com/articles/guided-meditations#sm.00075k7e71eb0fe7rd51mmcjg2a5w) to get you started.  

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Don’t Buy Into the Panic 

When a decision feels rushed, your brain sends out chemicals that signify it is in a state of alarm. These chemicals actually turn off the brain’s ability to process. This was great when our big urgency was that a dinosaur was about to eat us, but choosing who to date, what to study, or where to live shouldn’t create that same panic. Take slow breaths or if time allows, a quick little walk. Allow your body to return to a  more balanced state. 

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Dee:

The alcoholic in me wants to check it off my “to do” list NOW!  The newly-found spiritual person in me says to stay in the moment, be mindful, get back centered and right-sized.  Being mindful of the perfect moment in front of my nose gets me back to being grateful and humble.  It brings me back in touch with the greatest gift I’ve been given in sobriety, a Power Greater Than Myself, over to whom I can turn my will and my life.  

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I can remember that I am not in control.  That my god is in the driver’s seat and I am just along for the ride (a magic carpet ride of a lifetime!) to learn and experience what is meant for me right now.  Ssshhhh!  Quiet my head…  Remember, Dee, everything happens for a reason.  There are no coincidences.  You’ll miss it if your brain is all over the planet. 

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Lean In 

When confusion happens, instead of deciding not to decide, experience and embrace your uncertainty. Repeat your choices slowly as many as six or seven times. The time and the process of repeating the options will allow an unfolding of what you want. 

Dee:

And once I embrace the confusion or some negativity that has entered (or I have allowed to enter) my life, I thank it for coming and then ask it to leave.  In my perhaps imaginary head I can imagine the confusion or negativity being whisked off into the clouds…softly…gently.

I am in that mindful present moment with my Higher Power remembering gratefully that I am not  in control and when the student is ready, the master appears, as shall the answers. 

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Flip a Coin 

Heads is one choice, tails is the other. Usually as you flip it, you will root for heads or tails. This quick process allows you to access information at such a quick speed that there is no time to process, just to listen to your gut. This is called quick logic, and it gets you out of your processing and directly to the answer. 

Dee:

I’ll use this method to decide who will go first in a game.  Or Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Moe.  Maybe even Rock-Paper-Scissors.  But for decisions with a bit more weight, I’ll use my God Box, patience and faith.

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Know Yourself 

The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the easier it is to make choices that align with who you are. Being a student of how your body works (https://store.chopra.com/dosha-quiz), and what your core values are can help. 

Dee:

This is a gift I’ve been given by getting sober, allowing a Power Greater Than Myself to guide me through life, and by working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with a person I trust.  I have learned that most of my life had been driven by fear.  Most of it I do not understand as it makes no sense to me.  However, by learning today to live through my feelings and not my thinking, I no longer have to, nor wish to, expend unnecessary energy on the reasons. 

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By learning to live without fear and with the faith that a Higher Power has my back, I have grown to become more comfortable in my own skin.  The person who looked in the mirror and called herself a loser while in active addiction has finally accepted who and what she is, with all her gifts…and flaws.  And by staying in the present moment, learning and growing and becoming a better human being because of my past, and having no fear, but faith, regarding the future…all is perfect.  I am perfect! 

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Encourage Yourself 

Remember a time when you made a hard choice successfully. The stories you tell yourself about your ability to make successful choices will either buoy you up or weigh you down in future choices. 

Dee:

I’m getting older by the minute (and let me add, I wouldn’t go back a second from this content state of being I’m in now!).  It’s taking a lot more energy to accomplish things the older I get.  So today I choose to expend all my energy in a positive direction.  When I have a hard choice, I’ve embraced it, thanked it for coming, and given it to my Higher Power, I know I still have to do the foot work.  I need to get it done, cross it off my list, and move forward.  

I have a 50-50 chance that it will go my way.  If it doesn’t, learn, embrace, let go and move forward.  I can’t afford nor choose to have anything weigh me down.  It does not serve me.  I’ll be fine.  I’ll be a better person when I can move forward.

Take a Musical Interlude 

Spending a moment blasting your favorite rock n’ roll ballad or listening to a peaceful song takes you to a different part of your brain. When the song finishes, it’s almost like gaining a fresh perspective.  

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Dee:

Aaahhh, Grasshopper.  Such a true statement.  I have bunched my favorite songs together on my computer, phone, and other electronic devices so that at a push of a button, I am a new person.  My body moves.  My blood flows.  I’m in my happy place.  And when I sing, I breathe.  Sometimes unknowingly I am not breathing.  Go figure.

Delay Deciding 

Give yourself a vacation from decisions. If you can wait until tomorrow, sleeping on it allows your brain a little respite from the work of decision-making. It’s amazing that your brain continues to work on integrating information to help with choices while you sleep. You just might discover that the answer is more obvious after a good night of rest. 

Dee:

I love being married no a “normie” (doesn’t have a problem with alcohol or drugs).  He has chosen to not attend, learn about, have anything to do with any support groups, such as Al Anon.  However, he has witnessed me living a life of sobriety, having relapses, working with others, doing homework, reading, etc.  And he has picked up on so much of the spiritual way I strive to live.  And I love it when he makes fun of me on that path I have chosen.  We have good fun.

When I have a decision to make and it’s too late to call my sponsor, he suggests that I sleep on it.  Huh?  I want to get this done NOW!  So I sleep on it and awaken with the answer as clear as day.  These crazy kind of things happen to me a lot and I can’t explain it.  It makes no sense.  Like having the obsession to drink and drug removed one morning when I walked out to the patio.  So bizarre!  (And thank you, God!)

Life is full of seemingly impossible decisions. In the present, they can seem like obstacles to overcome, but your choices define not only who you are, but also how you want to spend your time. Have gratitude that you have the freedom to choose, and know that no matter how your decision unfolds, you have made the right choice for you in that moment.  

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As Anne Frank said, “Our lives are fashioned by our choices. First we make our choices. Then our choices make us.” 

Dee:

My life has been altered by my being an alcoholic.  In 1998 I did not have choices.  I HAD DO DRINK.  I had to drink everyday.  My life revolved about drinking.  Today my journey has brought me to a calm and beautiful life where I do have choices.  Today I do NOT have to drink.  I can if I want.  But I respect the disease of alcoholism enough to know that ONE IS NEVER ENOUGH.  I’ve tried it.  The first drink caused my brain to yell “MORE!”

Treatment programs and, more importantly, Alcoholics Anonymous (for whom I do not work nor represent, but am a true believer that this program works…for me) has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams.  I have contentment that I never even wanted, but I got it anyway.  I feel good in my skin and love myself for who and what I am.  I make positive choices and practice self-care. 

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Dang!  It’s all such common sense yet I had to go through various chapters in my life to bring me to this page of my book.  I encourage you to find this place of gratitude and serenity in your life whether you struggle with substance abuse, physical and mental abuse, depression, or just life itself.  It’s not easy but you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be!

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Embrace your journey.  Make positive choices.  Know that you are not unique and are not to blame or be guilt-ridden.  Together we can all find peace in this crazy world we live in and share our unique gifts with others in need.  Today I have a purpose and that is to share my Experience, Strength and Hope with all  who enter my Dee Bubble.

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I’m glad you made it!  And thank you for reading.  I encourage any comments, concerns or feedback on anything.  I live a rigorously honest life today, but I’m gentle and compassionate.

With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in Art with a Message of Hope and Inspiration, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

Commit to making the best decisions and creating the most fulfilled life with support from like-minded women and wonderful speakers at our Women’s Retreat. Learn More. 

About the Author 

Tamara Lechner (/bios/tamara-lechner) Certified Instructor: Meditation 

Tamara Lechner is a happiness expert and Chopra-Certified Primordial Sound Meditation (/articles/what- is-primordial-sound-meditation) Instructor. Her mission is to be so happy that those around her cannot help but step into her light. She enjoys writing, speaking, and teaching about how a positive mindset affects business, relationships, health, and life satisfaction. Tamara is often found throwing epic parties or walking barefoot in the sand. Join her on The Happiness Trajectory (http://www.ahamoments4u.com/free-online–the-happiness-trajectory.html), a free online mindset reboot, or find out more about her at… Read more (/bios/tamara-lechner) 

The Chopra Center 3/28/17

 

Holding Space: The Art of Being Present with Others

Holding Space: The Art of Being Present with Others 

By Adam Brady

Holding space is a conscious act of being present, open, allowing, and protective of what another needs in each moment. The term has been growing in popularity among caregivers, healers, yogis, and spiritual seekers. It’s a broadly used phrase to define the act of “being there” for another. The effects of this practice, however, go much deeper than simply offering support. 

Consider the individual words for a moment. To hold means to embrace or encircle someone or something in your grasp. Physically, this might take the form of a hug or the cradling of a hand in yours. But you can also embrace someone non-physically with your intention, attention, and energy. Space refers to the immediate environment you are sharing with another. This, too, may be the physical space of a room, but more frequently refers to the mental and emotional environment you are in with others. Put together, these words embody the principle of surrounding the environment with your awareness (https://chopra.com/articles/the-three-qualities- of-awareness) in way that provides comfort and compassion for all. 

Holding space involves several specific qualities of consciously relating to others, the sum of which are greater than the individual parts. Let’s explore these attributes and see how they can deepen your ability to hold space for others. 

Safety 

A key component to holding space is the quality of safety. For others to be open, genuine, and oftentimes vulnerable (https://chopra.com/articles/5-ways-to-feel-less-vulnerable), they must feel secure and have a sense of trust. People won’t let down their defenses until they know it is safe to do so. 

Like a medieval cathedral nestled within the city’s fortress walls, you need to create an environment in which all who enter feel protected from harm. This safety implies an unspoken “sheepdog” mentality that serves as a guardian and authentically maintains confidentiality, transparency, and impeccability in all you say and do. 

Dee:

I’ve learned from Alcoholics Anonymous the importance of anonymity.  Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.  I treasure this tradition and I strive to live it as best I can.  I try my hardest to treat others as I would like to be treated.  Anonymity, confidentiality and, more importantly, respect are the behaviors I endear; therefore, I sow.

I have also learned in A.A. to practice rigorous honesty.  So I do.  Opening up myself whole-heartedly to those who enter my Dee Bubble has gained me much trust and more openness from those I encounter.  When I share my experience, strength and hope, they seem to feel less threatened by sharing the events in their lives with me.

The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz has taught me to live impeccably with my word.  Impeccably…without sin.  I try to live the way Thumper’s mom taught him, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  That doesn’t mean I won’t stand up for myself or my rights, or for those I feel cannot do this for themselves.  I do have boundaries.  I do have self-respect and self-worth.  And so do you.

But I try not to waste my energy on negative things, and this includes words and thoughts that don’t serve my highest good.  So I have blocked myself off from gossip.  Bullying and name-calling has never been an option.  Having been bullied as a child, I realize how harmful words can be.

Suspended Self-Importance 

A vitally important aspect of holding space is the understanding that it’s not about you. When you hold space you must make the conscious decision to leave your ego (https://chopra.com/articles/is-the-ego-your-friend-or- foe) at the door. Holding space is about serving others and your personal concerns or needs are not part of the process. Suspending your sense of self-importance can be challenging and should be considered a prerequisite for the practice. If you aren’t able to put your ego in the back for a time, you’ll be ill-suited to be present for the needs of others. Holding space requires radical humility and the willingness to be a temporary caretaker of the feelings and concerns of another. 

 6_EgoSlpphsMOS (orig wht) (DbH)

Dee:

Not only have I learned in AA that I have no control over people, places, nor things, I have also learned that the world does not revolve around me.  I am so grateful for having worked the 12 Steps with many women and each time learning so much more about myself and becoming a better human being.  Please note that I do not represent Alcoholics Anonymous.  I share my experience, strength and hope with you as a true believer in this Program and in its miracles.

So one of the things I learned to help me get out of myself and out of my head was to be of service.  It works.  It feels good; I feel good.  I learn to give back what was so freely given me when I needed it most…hope, compassion, empathy, a safe place to hang out.

I also learned from working the Steps what a selfish, fear-based, all-about-me piece of work I was.  Yet I had no purpose, no reason for living.  I was so empty in my active disease and even before as I had no god nor power greater than myself, no god of my own understanding, no nothing.

Today I no longer have to live in fear.  I no longer have to hate myself.  I no longer have to have your approval.  I can just be me and be okay with that.  But I’m not just okay, I love myself for who and what I am with all my defects of character, with all the incomprehensible demoralizing things I did in my past.

Today I have a Power Greater Than Myself, a Higher Power of My Own Understanding and making.  I turn my will and my life over to the care of this being.  I have faith that everything is happening for a reason, that there is a journey out there for me that serves my highest good.  So if I just go with the flow and trust in the process, my head is quiet, my life is calm, and a beautiful and purposeful life appears before me. 

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Living in the moment has been such a precious gift in my sobriety.  I no longer have to dwell on my past but to embrace it and use it in a positive way.  I no longer have to worry about the future as there might be no future.  Again, I am not in control.  So I make sure that I stay present and not shit on the moment before me.  This helps me to stay humble and grateful for what is right before my nose.

Attention 

One of the most precious gifts you can give another is the gift of your full and complete attention. However, listening attentively without the need to respond, interrupt, or comment is a skill that takes considerable practice to master. Even with the best of intentions, your ego may sneak back in; it looks for opportunities to subtly make things about you instead of the other. 

When holding space you must work diligently to maintain eye contact, be free of distractions, be fully attentive, and cultivate an openness or “space consciousness” in which there is no “me,” but rather the ever-present witness of the sounding board of consciousness. 

To this end, make the commitment to cultivate what British author Stuart Wilde called silent power by resisting the urge to speak unless you are asked to. This, coupled with your full awareness, can be a profoundly powerful experience for those in your presence. Your attention, focused and all-inclusive of whatever is happening in the moment, opens the door for others to see the reflection of their own soul in you—the Self talking to itself. 

Dee:

As I drive to the Pure Kona Green Market early every Sunday morning to sell my art I center my thoughts to the folks who will enter my Dee Bubble that day.  I ask my Higher Power to help me to be mindful, respectful, compassionate and loving.  I no longer base my prosperity of the day on financial rewards; I base my prosperity on the interactions I have with those I get to know and meet, with nature and nourishment I put in my body, and with the day as it unfolds.  When I start my day with this attitude, my day always unfolds in spectacular ways.  The financial rewards come if that is what is meant to be.  But the new interactions I have with other like-minded human beings never disappoints me.  I learn.  I grow.  I add these new experiences to my Experience, Strength and Hope Box to share with you.

Practice Acceptance 

Holding space is all about allowing—allowing this person or group to feel what they feel. Allowing them to say what they need to say. Allowing yourself to be whatever they need you to be right now. Holding space, therefore, isn’t about controlling anything. Your role is that of a guardian of the space. Like two cupped hands filled with water, you are there to hold the other with your awareness. In doing so, you must allow that experience to take whatever shape it will. 

Accept this moment as it is. Accept others as they are, without any desire to change them, or wanting them to be something different. This, too, can be a challenge since you are conditioned to immediately try to change things you think should be different. But, in holding space, practicing acceptance gives others a priceless gift—the freedom to be just as they are. (https://chopra.com/live-events/seduction-of-spirit)  

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Dee:

Another valuable gift I have learned from AA is not to judge, not to take other people’s inventories.  In other words, I mind my own business and make sure my side of the street is kept clean.  I have no clue what other’s have gone through, what makes them tick, what makes them who they are.  But when I quiet down my head and listen to their stories with a mindful, present, and respectable heart, I get to experience their journeys and, again, add them to my Experience, Strength and Hope Box to share with others in an anonymous and general way to help them along their journeys.

Keeping my side of the street clean means accepting and loving myself for who I am.  Self-care is key.  I cannot be there for others if I have unresolved doo doo going on in my own life.  So that is where my priority lies before I can reach out to others.  Am I in a good space?  Is my life free from poison arrows?  In other words, am I mindful of what is right in front of my nose?  If I am then I am in tuned with my Higher Power.  I am aware that everything is perfect at this moment.  I am able to love myself and my life for what it is, but not only love it, but embrace it for all its glory.  Then I know I am humble and grateful.  I can now help you to that place.

Non-judgement 

Holding space is an impartial process. You’re not there to pass judgement or to evaluate another. When you judge another’s experience you create additional mental static that will only get in the way and obscure the truth. In the moment when you’re holding another’s fears, suffering (https://chopra.com/articles/a-modern-take-on- the-roots-of-suffering), or grief, your opinions are irrelevant. 

Unless you’ve been through what they’re going through, you’ll never truly understand their feelings. Being there is enough. Good and bad are merely a matter of perspective and in this moment, your perspective isn’t the one that’s important.  

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Dee:

I love that I am able to see the glass half-full, that I can turn any negative into a positive.  That is me and that is how I choose to live.  With hope.  With light at the end of the tunnel.  So again, I quiet my head (it’s not all about me) and I open my heart.  I get mindful and respectful.  I make eye contact.  I give you my full attention.  I listen.  I feel.  I have new experiences.  I grow.  I become a better human being.  I share with you how you can turn your negatives into positives.  We thrive…together.

Compassion 

Although you non-judgmentally practice acceptance with your full attention, that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t prefer things to be better. Compassion (https://chopra.com/articles/4-steps-to-finding-peace-through- compassion) is an essential quality for the practice of holding space. To embrace another in acceptance is an act of compassion in and of itself. In your openness to the pain of others you are essentially saying, “How can I help you? I don’t want you to hurt. What can I do to help support your highest good?” Even if not spoken aloud, these intentions to relieve the suffering of others are the essence of compassion. 

In many cases, simply being a loving presence can bring about a deep sense of relief that eases the pain of another. The world can use more compassion, so the practice of holding space provides an opportunity to continually build this vitally important skill.

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Dee:

I remember how alone I felt when I was a practicing alcoholic.  I was ashamed that I could not go a day without drinking.  I was confused as to why I could not get a grip on my drinking.

The miracle came when my Higher Power stepped in and told me this part of my journey was over.  He felt I had suffered just enough to not take my own life, but to share my experiences with others feeling just as alone.

He sent me to rehab.  He taught me about alcoholism.  He had me feel that there was hope and gave me a group of like-minded folks going through the same confusion and hardship.  And when my 28-days was done with these professional counselors and GOD (Group Of Drunks), He sent me to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.  This is where the real magic begins.  To learn I have a toolbox for living.  I have a book (The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous) that spells it all out for me as suggestions, with testimonials, and the whole nine yards.  Yes, this is where the real magic begins.

Because I grew up in a society (yes, America) where we are taught at a young age to suck it up, be strong, achieve more shit, more material stuff, more power, step on those who get in my way, I was a hot mess.  How do I share with those who might get in my way of achieving this “stuff”.  How can I let them or anyone know I am suffering?  What a crock of shit!  I had to unlearn all that bullshit!

We ALL have our obstacles.  We ALL have life to endure.  But why do we feel we have to endure?  Let’s embrace it in all its glory…together.  I feel such a part of in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.  We are one big family (no, not a cult) who genuinely care about the well-being of others in the rooms.  And we take that compassion to the real world, where it trickles out over the entire planet, one small wave at a time, one day at a time.  It’s magical!

But whether you are an alcoholic or not, you may have some obstacle that feels so huge that there is no hope in sight.  You are not alone.  There are many others out there going through what you are experiencing.  You’ll know when you let your guard down, when you shut your head off and open your heart, who you want to open up to.  Just let it happen.  What do you have to lose?  Remember, it’s not all about you.  If you keep it closed up because you want to save face, get over yourself.  In a minute that person you shared with won’t remember what you said anyway.  You’ll probably never see him/her again.  Unless this was a like-minded, caring and compassionate person who realizes there are no coincidences and that you were put in his life for a reason…so that you can thrive together.

Witnessing 

Witnessing allows you to play a special part while holding space—that of the observer. Like in quantum physics, the observer is what triggers the collapse of the wave of potential into a particle, the non-local into the localized phenomenon. But this doesn’t involve any action on the observer’s part. In holding space you’re just there as the witness, almost like a fly on the wall. Naturally, you can participate if requested to do so, but essentially your role is that of the watcher. 

It is said that when Gautama (the future Buddha) was on the verge of enlightenment, he was tempted by the forces of darkness and their king, the demon Mara. With his entire demon army descending upon them, Mara demands the Gautama produce a witness to his awakening. Gautama simply touches the earth with his fingers and says, “The earth itself is my witness.” With this gesture, Mara and his arm vanish, and Gautama becomes the Buddha or Awakened One. Like the earth the Buddha touches, you are the witnesses to those who you hold space for. 

Through the practice of holding space, you serve as a container for which the healing and transformation can take place. It’s a powerful gift of presence that you can give to others through the quality of your attention. 

Spend six transformative days expanding your awareness and deepening your presence at Seduction of Spirit, our signature meditation and yoga retreat led by Deepak Chopra. Learn More. (https://www.chopra.com/live- events/seduction-of-spirit) 

Dee:

I remember learning early on in sobriety that if something is bothering me (let’s say, a resentment), write it down, say it out loud, better yet, share it with another human being, and that will take the power out of it.  Why do we keep all this shit bottled up in us?  Am I the only one going through this and every other human being out there is perfect and might think less of me?  Bull shit.  We are all human beings and we’re in this together.

Why do so many humans sit at the bar and share their shit with the bartender?  Why do so many humans pay millions of dollars and spew their junk with therapists?  Why do so many humans go to confession on Sundays?  To take the power out of what’s ailing them.  So share it.  Embrace it.  Then release it.  Let yourself be free of negativity and open up your limited disc-space for positive things. 

Mahalo for reading this and allowing me to share my experience, strength and hope with you.  Have a great day and share your gifts!

Aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in Art with a Message of Hope and Inspiration, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!

About the Author 

Adam Brady (/bios/adam-brady) Vedic Educator 

Yoga teacher, author, and martial artist Adam Brady has been associated with the Chopra Center for nearly 20 years. He is a certified Vedic Educator trained in Primordial Sound Meditation (/articles/what-is-primoridal- sound-meditation), Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga (/teach/seven-spiritual-laws-yoga-teacher-training target=), and Perfect Health: Ayurvedic Lifestyle (/teach/perfect-health-certification-program), and regularly teaches in the Orlando, Florida, area. Over the last several years, Adam has worked to introduce corporate mind-body wellness programs into the workplace within a large… Read more (/bios/adam-brady) 

Taken from the Chopra Center

 When You Feel Like Crap, And What To Do About It 

 When You Feel Like Crap, And What To Do About It 

by Josiah Samuel Harry 

The Mindfullness Show is back for another season. In this season (Season 2), we will be discussing the hottest topics relating to pop culture and news around the world.

You are vertical and ventilating, but you still feel like crap.  Every success initiative you employ seems to flop.  Your dreams and goals appear to be out of reach, and you’re no longer enjoying life as you once did.  Even the universe itself seems to be conspiring against you.  So how do you get yourself out of the shitty mood and get back on the path to success? 

Start your day with positive affirmation.  Make it a habit to avoid thoughts or conversations that undermine your dreams.  Do not give power and energy to negativity or anything that will deplete your mental strength.  Instead, you ought to retrain your focus on motivating energy.  Do your best to use positive words when talking.  Start your day with statements like: “I am so happy and grateful to see another beautiful day” or “I love myself for who I am” or “I will put forth my best effort and accept responsibility for my success and happiness.” 

Dee:

I use positive affirmations regularly.  I am a firm believer they work, to at least get me back in the moment in front of me.

When I was in an alcohol treatment program our group started our day reciting an affirmation we chose for ourselves.  I chose “I am a good person.  I am a whole person”.  Well, for starts, I’m in rehab so I’m not feeling real good about myself.  As a matter of fact, I feel like shit, a loser, a waste of space on the planet.  I cannot go a day without drinking.

The treatment program taught me I have the disease of alcoholism.  Then one day at a time, doing what was suggested to me there and in the rooms of AA, I began to get better.  I continued repeating that affirmation daily.  It took a long time but eventually I did feel like a good person and a whole person.  Today I not only feel it, I know I AM it!

I am also finding that it takes a lot of energy to be in a shitty mood.  It’s so much easier and lighter to be positive and optimistic.  So there’s another choice I have made to better myself and my life.  The energy I have today will be used in a helpful, hopeful, and useful way.

So if I feel shitty or have shitty thoughts I say, “Thank you for coming.  I embrace you.  You do not serve me, so please go.”  And then I allow those feeling and thoughts to be whisked away into the clouds.

Shift your paradigm.  A paradigm is a host of thoughts, ideas, and experiences that frame one’s reality.  In order to see success through its fulfillment, it necessitates adopting new beliefs that bridge your ridiculously-impossible dream with effort, skill, passion.  If your goals are small, then your effort will follow suit, and your success outcomes will likely be small.  This isn’t to say that bigger is always better, but sometimes it is. 

Dee:

I hope to never give up being a kid with a wild imagination and dreams and hopes.  If I give that up why bother going on?  There is nothing to look forward to or to be excited about.

I allow the dreams and hopes to surface from my heart and not my head.  My head seems to stifle my aspirations with rationalizations and fear.  My heart fills me with joy and potential.  Therefore, I choose to live today with a new m.o…from my heart and not my head…from that angel on my shoulder and not the devil on the other shoulder.   

And I have found that living this way, and by turning my will and my life over to the care of a Power Greater Than Myself (as suggested in the rooms of AA), I DO get to experience the Promises (pages 83-84, Chapter 6 “Into Action”, in Alcoholics Anonymous, written by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob)…in a way far greater than I could ever have imagined!

Match your actions with your ambitions.  If your goal is to establish a functional stable Mars colony, then you will need a spacecraft large and powerful enough to get you to Mars.  In order to experience high-level success, you must prioritize and devote a ton of time to the tasks that will get you closer to your goals.  Don’t let the mantra: “Everybody wants to be a winner until it’s time to do what winners do” define your reality. 

Dee:

Actions speak louder than words.  Walk my talk.  But I don’t want to.  I don’t have time.  It’s not fun.  

I used these excuses in my business I started five years ago.  Putting together an online business requires knowledge and computer skills.  Didn’t light a spark in me 5 years ago.  It was suggested to me to do certain things that, again, didn’t float my boat.  So 5 years later with just a so-so business I have chosen to better myself and my business.

I have enrolled in on-line courses, narrowing down to one particular instructor who fits me and my needs.  Hours, months, years of research.  I am finally doing what is suggested and the spark is starting to ignite.  You see, “When the student is ready, the master appears.”  Now is my time, not 5 years ago.

So the last few months I have poured myself into redesigning my website, focusing on my brand and target market, concentrating on policies and procedures.  And today I am exited to do this.  When the time is right…when I am right…it will happen!

Pivot.  To pivot is to change direction and make necessary adjustments to get you on a path that will lead to considerable growth and success.  When you conclude that you are no longer on the correct path based on experience and evidence, then it is time to redirect your time, money, and effort to another success initiative.  Sometimes you have the right idea, but there isn’t a market for that idea, yet.  So fish where the fish are, and remember to use the right bait. 

Dee:

So changing my direction and remembering who and what I am…an alcoholic in recovery with a purpose to share my experience, strength and hope…I have concentrated my efforts on a business to do just that…offer compassion, mindfulness and optimism to those who are seeking that.

I remember how important affirmations are to my life so I share them with my target market in a fun and beautiful way.  I have created art with a message to offer enjoyment and a reminder to stay in the moment and embrace who and what you are, right here, right now.  It’s finally making sense to me.  The fire is finally lit and the kid in me is excited to go to work every morning like being in a candy store.

Persist.  To persist means to rise to the occasion when your best performance is needed most—and that’s every day.  Remaining focused on accomplishing your goals in the face of opposition, setbacks, and unforeseen challenges is hard work.  Achieving your greatest potential takes time—meaning years, even decades.  Nonetheless, if you desire to experience unparalleled success, then you must be willing to stretch beyond the limits of your creative endurance. 

The common denominator among the five points above is perspective.  That is, setting high and realistic expectations for yourself and celebrating the path you are on while learning and growing. 

Dee:

So this journey of improving my business is interconnected with my journey of improving myself and my life in recovery.  Yes, we do all have to earn a living and I have chosen a path that allows my passion to thrive.

And it takes heaps of time, endurance, patience…improving my life and my business.  It is exciting to know that I am right where I need to be and that my Higher Power has my back and is guiding me in the direction that is best for me, one that serves me by serving HIm.

Yes, I’ve got to keep everything in perspective.  Remember to stay in the moment which means to stay grateful, and humble, and to Turn It Over.  It’s all interconnected.  We are all interconnected.  No coincidences.

Mahalo for being here.  With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

For those interested in checking out my Art with a Message of hope and optimism using motivational quotes and affirmations, please check out my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Enjoy!

Josiah Samuel Harry | May 8, 2018 at 5:17 pm | Tags: #america, #beauty, #blog, #blogging, #inspiration, #life, #lifestyle, #love, #men, #motherhood, #motivation, #parenting, #success, #women, #writing, awakening, Blogger, josiah harry, josiah samuel harry, natural, nature, New Post, News, Personal Development, Self Empowerment, self-improvement, the mindfullness show, When You Feel Like Shit, 

Since you’re here… 

…I wrote a book about love with the aim of sparking a national conversation about tolerance, diversity, and inclusion. The goal is to get Choose Love Not Hate into every home and school, and make our communities places of intercultural learning and hubs of compassion. It would mean the world to me if you ordered a copy of Choose Love Not Hate today. Thank you. 

Tuesday, May 8, 2018, 12:18:46 PM HST 

http://josiahharry.blog/2018/05/08/when-you-feel-like-crap-and-what-to-do-about-it/ 

AND SO ROCK BOTTOM BECAME THE SOLID FOUNDATION ON WHICH I BUILT MY LIFE

AND SO ROCK BOTTOM BECAME THE SOLID FOUNDATION ON WHICH I BUILT MY LIFE

by Dee Harris

   I was just blessed with a 5-Year Chip.  “What is that?”, you ask.  Chips in Alcoholics Anonymous represent milestones of time achieved in sobriety.  There are 24-Hour Chips, also called Desire Chips.  There are monthly chips.  There are yearly chips.  These all represent surrender and acceptance and the time we have being clean and sober.

   “Surrender to what?”  For me there are many words I’ve learned since birth that hold negative connotations.  Surrender was one of them.  I’ve had to unlearn much of what I adopted from society.  

   Today surrender for me means I accept that I am an alcoholic.  I’ve learned that alcoholism is a disease that I did not choose, nor can I will-power away.  Kind of like being a woman or of Chinese descent.  It is what it is.  Period.  Therefore, surrender is no longer a word in my dictionary holding thoughts of loss.  In this case for me, it actually denotes thoughts of victory…accepting the cards I’ve been dealt and being okay with them, but more so, even thriving from them.

   “So what’s the big deal with these chips?”  Even though one of the slogans I learned in AA is “There are no big deals”, receiving these chips IS A BIG DEAL to me.  You see, I’m an alcoholic.  That means I have a physical allergy to alcohol and a mental obsession to it as well.  

   Believe you me that I have tried every imaginable remedy to NOT drink everyday, morning, noon and night.  Why was it that drinking was all I could think about?  Aaahhh…done with work.  Now I can drink.  Aaahhh…work week is over.  Now I can drink.  Aaahhh…holiday.  Now I can drink.  Well that snowballed into everyday that ends in “Y”.  Now I can drink.  It snowballed from “now I can drink” to “I have to drink.”  Drinking took over my entire life, my mind, body and soul.  Shitty, yeah?

   So for an alcoholic who has reached rock bottom, who cannot live a normal life without drinking, any length of time in sobriety IS A BIG DEAL.  But I am here to share another big deal that I’ve learned along my journey through life.  Once I built that solid foundation of a life in recovery, there are no guarantees that I get to keep it.

   Why would I want to keep it?  Because I don’t HAVE TO DRINK today and everyday.  I don’t have to live my entire life in negativity and despair.  I don’t have to hate and loathe myself.  I don’t have to feel I’m a waste of space on the planet.

   Today I get to have a purpose to share my experience, strength and hope with the world.  That includes sharing my journey with other alcoholics who are struggling with or trying to get to sobriety.  But that also includes sharing my journey and optimism with everyone who enters my bubble who has demons with which they are dealing.  We all have them.

   Alcoholics Anonymous, the fellowship, the Big Book, the Twelve Steps, have gifted me with a life beyond my wildest dreams!  Please note, that I do not represent the organization of Alcoholics Anonymous in any way, shape or form.  Everything shared here is my opinion.  My growth from using these tools have awarded me self-love, self-worth, and self-respect.  I had none of that before getting sober.  

   Why?  Because I lived in fear.  The experiences I received from society ingrained in me that more is better…more power, more money, more beauty, more material things, more of all that stuff that would never make me happy inside my being.

   So I lived a life trying to impress you.  I lived a life of a lie because I didn’t love myself.  Today my story is to stress to you that you do not have to live this way.  Be true to yourself.  Love yourself.  Accept yourself for the gift that you are.  Gifts that only you have!  And share those gifts.

   Ok.  Back to having no guarantees of keeping this most awesome life in sobriety.  You see, my life got good.  I stayed sober.  I actively participated in my recovery with the AA fellowship and did all that was suggested.  One day at a time.  But more and more good stuff kept being served up on my plate.  I couldn’t keep up.  And one day at a time I sacrificed my AA ties for the gifts of sobriety.  I went to fewer meetings.  I stopped giving back what was so freely given me when I needed it most.  I separated myself from the newcomer so I forgot what it was like struggling to get sober.

   I “thought” I was staying connected to my Higher Power, a Power Greater Than Myself, to which I vowed to turn over my will and my life.  But without staying active with the AA fellowship, my thoughts once again took over.  Dee’s will once again took over.  I was fooling myself and had no genuinely interested party to call me on my shit.

   When offered that shot of tequila the words vomited from my mouth, “No, thank you.  I haven’t had a drink in 13 and a half years.”  Vomit.  Just words.  No meaning.  No heart.  So when that drink was left for me, it yelled at me.  My insurance policy had lapsed long ago when I stopped going to meetings.  So I drank it.

   Immediately the devil and the drink, the disease of Alcoholism, took over every fiber of my being.  Immediately I wanted more.  Thus, lying, cheating, hiding and all the negativity that comes with my drinking once again reared its ugly head.  You see, the disease was doing push ups waiting for that pinhole of weakness to arise.  And it did!

   Once being exposed to AA and going back out (drinking, drugging), actively using will never be the same.  We have learned where this disease will take us.  To the gates of insanity, hell or death.  “Thinking” that I was having a nervous breakdown, my doctor told me to simply get back into AA.  Never even occurred to me; that’s how sick I was.

   Once again I am on that pick cloud of life in sobriety doing everything suggested by the fellowship and my new sponsor.  I take a 1-Year Chip.  And then…

   I guess I wasn’t truly ready to surrender to this disease.  I needed to play Russian Roulette just one more time.  When my dentist asked if I had any pain pills before extracting a tooth (and I did check off on the admission form that I AM an alcoholic; so what?), this happy little kid in a candy store elatedly said, “No!”  Off and running again. So when there was no pain and plenty of pills left, I knew I had blown my sobriety, so I drank them down.  

   Hey, I was actively involved in AA and the fellowship.  What gives?  My Higher Power gives.  He gives me lessons and a journey to bring me to where He needs me to be.

   A few more months of enjoying the high of lying, cheating, hiding.  Hitting meetings and repeatedly saying, “Hi, I’m Dee.  I’m an alcoholic.  I drank last night”.  Then drinking again.  Going through an out-patient program.  Hitting my knees.  Hoping through osmosis that I would stop drinking.

   Surrender and acceptance.  Today I have a 5-year chip.  I also have a 1-year chip.  And a 13-year chip.  No guarantees, boys and girls.  Please, do not “Keep Coming Back”.  PLEASE, DO NOT EVER LEAVE!!!

   Much aloha to you and thank you for reading.  Know that you are not unique and definitely not alone.  We are here for you.  Not to judge you but to love you until you can love yourself.  Know not to feel guilt nor shame.  Just accept and surrender.  Let’s ride this pink cloud together…forever and ever!

   Aloha, Dee

For those interested in Art with a Message of Recovery, Hope and Optimism, please visit my website at www.DeesignsByHarris.com.  Mahalo and enjoy!